lukeryu

Mental Screamings
2006-12-11 07:24:48 (UTC)

Houdini

I dont know what to write anymore. I suppose I could write
what I really think about, well, anything and everything,
but I think I'd get some ass kickings if I did that. Daily
life goes on as it ever does. I wake up, haul my ass out of
bed, go to class, fall asleep in class, sometimes get to
hang out with Rachael, sometimes not, go do extra
curriculars, go home, eat cheap nasty ass food, fail in
motivating myself to do homework and then go to bed. Wake
up the next day, rinse and repeat. I'm so fucking bored by
it all. Its getting easier for me to get annoyed by people
and harder for me to do something about it. I've discovered
that large gatherings bug the hell out of me, and because I
have four roommates, it doesnt take too many guests to
constitute a large gathering. The other night we had a ton
of people over at the house. I decided to get away from
everyone, so I made some tea, grabbed a cigar and went
outside, and was about halfway through both when my serenity
was interrupted. And they wonder why I dont come out of my
room. I want to get out of here. I want to get paid $60k a
year to work 40 hours a week instead of paying $16k to work
60 hours a week. And yet I am still almost expected to
apply to grad school. Sure, there are a few bright spots
here, but after three and a half years I'm sick of it all.

I suspended my World of Warcraft account at the beginning of
December. I decided that because of the money I needed to
spend on Christmas presents and the time I should be
spending on studying for finals, it would probably be for
the best. As it was one of the two things I think keeps me
sane, I thought it would be hard to let go of, but as per I
havent killed anyone yet, I think I'll survive (please note
I dont know how many if any of these can be directly or
indirectly attributed to the lack of WoW). Now that I
havent played for a week and a half, I am noticing changes
in my behavior. I havent spent any more time on productive
things, but I was rather optimistic to think I would. I am
getting out of my room more and becoming more social with my
roommates. I'm spending a lot more time just trolling the
internet than I did. I decided that I wanted to start
through my list of unbeaten RPGs (see below), and I've made
some progress on some, but not as much as I would have
liked. If I spent the amount of time I did on WoW on my
RPGs, I'd be through Xenosaga II, Final Fantasy Tactics, and
possibly Neverwinter Nights 2 at this point (note: When I
started, I was 25 hours into Xenosaga II, 30 into FFT and 10
into NWN2). I have also felt my infinite pool of patience
shrink to a moderate sized pond. I find myself wanting to
pound my head against something much more often now than I
did previously. I havent lashed out at anyone yet, nor do I
think I will, as it isnt in my nature, but getting fed up
with people may happen quicker. I find myself going to bed
earlier, usually before one on weekdays. Overall, I'm just
fucking bored. I'll get my crack back soon enough though.

AT WHAT POINT ARE THEY GOING TO STOP MAKING FUCKING AMERICAN
PIE MOVIES??? EUGENE LEVY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT
IS HOLY, ATTACH YOURSELF TO A PROJECT THAT DOESNT HAVE TO DO
WITH AMERICAN PIE.

I'm calling it here and now. My presents from my parents
for the holiday season (and yes, my list contained more than
just this....): FFXII, new gloves and cash.

I keep thinking that I should quit choir next semester. Ken
touts choir as a break from the day, when you get to sit
back, sing, and get away from the monotony of homework and
the school day, and to tell the truth, up until now, thats
why I've been doing it (aside the fact that I enjoy
singing). Except then came along this past semester. Choir
became more work than fun. I started getting as much stress
from choir as from my classes. And with two senior seminars
next semester, I dont really need additional stress. But on
the other hand, I have been in choir for over 10 years now
(damn I feel old) and I would miss singing and not to
mention there are days when choir is the only time I get to
see Rachael, so I probably wont quit, but I hope the stress
level of the choir is lowered this next semester.

The CSci faculty held a party for the students, specifically
those who passed their senior seminar earlier that day. I
spent part of the evening listening to Nic regale about his
undergraduate experience. He was talking about how he
majored in math and philosophy and his advisor started out
being a physics professor by the name of David Griffiths.
It was that point where my already immeasurably high respect
for Nic crashed through the roof and kept on soaring. For
those who dont know, David Griffiths is one of the premier
writers of physics textbooks. My Electromagnetism and
Quantum textbooks were both written by the man and they are
both top notch pieces of literature. It was kinda like
hearing about a friend who has met Patrick Stewart (except
if you had a friend who met Patrick Stewart, it would be way
the fuck cooler) in terms of being star-struck. In other
news, I think Nic should write some textbooks so I can tell
people “Yea, I had him as a teacher. He was fucking awesome.”

Also, my favorite Ventrillo quote from WoW. This guy's wife
wouldnt let him raid, but he would come down every few
minutes and check on the progress of the raid and how
everyone was doing, so finally the raid leader yells at him
“Stop checking on us and go touch your wife
inappropriately.” We all had a good laugh at that. One of
the reasons I enjoy being part of such a great community...

Games to Beat:
Xenosaga II
Final Fantasy Tactics
Neverwinter Nights 2
Final Fantasy VI
Chrono Trigger
Chrono Cross
Xenogears
Final Fantasy IX

*looks at post* not bad for not knowing what to write....

G'night




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