lil el rdnk

Life Story
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2006-12-05 03:40:55 (UTC)

Meet my love

It all started with a visit to the movie store. That night
he talked about his ex and I talked about mine. Nights
later, I left town and guess who called me, him!?! Well
the funny thing is we ended up getting together. During
our relationship I remember exactly everything. I remember
our first kiss was right in front of the fridge at his
house. I remember what I was wearing, or not wearing- on
the night of our first time together (I even remember what
song played in the background- Usher‘s Yeah). I remember
me and him and Ben all hanging out and taking the van (and
he kept making that annoying sound past Amanda‘s house). I
remember playing bumper cars in the country (and breaking
the trunk and scaring me half to death when they almost
wrecked). I remember the way he gave me my Valentines day
present (I hate valentines day now its never been the
same, but I still have everything he gave me) I remember
making m&m cookies (the night I skipped my cheerleading
game). I remember pulling the emergency break in town in
the snow taking Amanda home, and the cop was right there
so he said the ash tray spilt and he got distracted. I
remember when he got arrested the first night we hung out
(that was a very painful night) And later that night he
was teasing me cause I was watching traffic in town at
2am. But he got my shoe in the next morning for me since
Chris through it out the second story window. I still
remember all the different cell phone numbers he had. I
remember when we pissed my mom off cause I still had
curfew and I was home really late cause he didn’t have a
car and his mom went out. I remember going to Lisa’s with
him right after Little Joe came home. I remember going
over there, and taking my nephew. He treated him so great.
I remember the truck being in the bottom of the water. I
remember when he came by after Gary’s graduation. I
remember when him and Whitney broke up and he called me to
come over there. I remember when we took the mustang out
to the lake. I remember being there in my dress. I
remember cleaning the house while he played in the snow
with all kids from the block. I remember using the
flashlight to put out street lights. I remember going with
Gary and Tasha to the drive in (We watched Walking Tall).
I remember running out of gas in the truck. I remember
when the Taylorville girls came over. I even remember when
he went with Chris to Taylorville. Me and Lynz and Amanda
went there too and they didn’t know. I remember when they
were threaten to shoot at Lynz car cause we were driving
by and he got pissed. I remember when he came out of radio
shack and leaned on Lynz car to talk to Amanda and me. I
can even still remember the day I first met him, me and
Randi went to Gary’s to talk to Chris and he was in the
living room playing video games. I remember when my mom
dropped me off over there, right after I bought him the
Mustang Keychain. I remember when my sister and me went
over there. I remember when the fight happened. I remember
going over to Eric’s to see him. I remember sitting at my
house with him nights after the wreck. I remember going to
his house the day I got my license. I remember calling out
for him when I wrecked. I remember having a very huge
secret that I never told him, and probably never will. I
remember him making fire engine sounds. I remember us
eating fortune cookies. I remember when I wrote like four
poems for him, he made me read them to him, and then he
kept them. I remember getting my ring back from him (I
haven’t taken off my finger since-ever). I remember the no
radio piece of junk he called a car, which fucked up on
his way home from my house so him and Chris ended up
walking. I remember him and Chris tying me up with zip
ties (that was not funny either) So basically you see I
remember everything. I could go in to detail but I wont.
Just because it means so much to me and will probably be
boring to anyone else who reads this. If you are reading
this you are probably saying what in the hell is the point
in writing this? Well you see there is a point. Its
because it’s a major part of me. The story/ relationship I
was talking about was my very first. He was my love, he is
my love, he always will be my love. You see the thing is
it didn’t really end when we broke up. We have been going
on and off for sometime now well actually its been years.
But no matter what we go through I love him. I will carry
him in my heart until the day I die. He made me who I am
today. We never really fought. We always had a good time.
We spent all our time together. I really don’t mind having
time alone, but not seeing him is killing me. I miss the
way he used to call me all the time. Seriously if we
weren’t in each others presence we were on the phone. I
miss laying on the couch with him. I miss him calling me
Babe (I mean hello why do you think I got baby girl on my
tattoo- babe didn’t work its to conceded for a tattoo) I
miss everything about him and everything about us. There
for a while I just thought about him and remembered. I had
the feelings of sorrow but I never lingered on it. Well
now I am. Because he is back in my life. The one thing I
don’t remember is what went wrong the first time but I
don’t want it to happen again. I want us to be us. No
matter what the cost of that is (Even if it means no
Peoria). I want to be there to share in his fatherhood
experiences. I mean hello what better then share times
with him and his son. His son is the world to him and will
always be the number one person in his life. I would love
more than anything to be by his side and help him with his
child. Which oh my Lordy I seen the cutest Christmas
outfit that I want to get his son but first I want to make
sure he will get his son for the holidays. Then if he does
I want to see about getting his pictures done especially
in this outfit. I love it!! So okay I have proclaimed my
love for him to him, my family, myself, and everyone else.
I even posted it on here. So are you ready to really meet
him? You want to know about him (not me or us but him)?
Okay well here goes nothing. I call him Eddie Dale. He is
24 years old, his birthday is close to mine so hell be 25
soon (which reminds me of the time the fire happened and
he called and woke me up. I was the first to tell him
happy b-day). He has dark hair (he should gel it sometime
instead of the damn hat he always wears) and the cutest
face. He has really long eyelashes. His eyes really stand
out. Especially when he does his cute grin with rolling
his eyes. He is pretty average height, my guess is around
like 5’8. He has a really good build (well to me). Like I
mentioned he has a son. He listens to country and the last
time I checked he was addicted to the song What hurts the
most, and Akon’s Smack that. He is a mechanic, which is
perfect cause he is very interested by cars and anything
dealing with cars. Which leads to his obsession, deer
hunting. All I ever hear is big buck. Which is cute when
he says it cause he usually says big buck when talking to
his nephew (not to mention he has an awesome family). But
he told me today he finally got a deer. So I’m really
excited for him. Hopefully he got pictures, I want to see.
Okay so that’s him. That’s my first, always, and last
love. You might say whatever, but you see he’s a big deal
to me. I LOVE HIM! So basically this was just written to
for me to share my greatest gift from God. I wanted to let
the whole world know that God is here and he has blessed
me with such a great gift. He has shown me love in many
ways. But Eddie I know you are reading this (eventually)
because I told you I wanted you to and you said you would.
Even if it means reading it on my computer while I just
stare at you waiting for a response. So therefore I want
to tell you something. I love you. I know that you have
been through a lot recently and I don’t want to push
things. But you really need to clue me in on what the hell
is going on, cause the whole I miss you and don’t move
isn’t really telling me much. If you really want something
you need to tell me. It doesn’t matter if you do, you
don’t, or you even don’t know. I want you to know that I
am here and I love you with all my heart. I have tried to
prove things to you lately and I have no clue where I
stand. But I want you to know I miss us. I miss everything
about you and what made our relationship. I really hope
that we can talk about everything, seriously talk about
EVERYTHING, once you read this. I just got done talking to
you- and hating you for putting me in that “place” but I
am still waiting for you to call me. But for now I am
actually going to go sit in my comfy chair and listen to
Default, Memories. I love you, I miss you, and I’ll be
there soon (only three more days). Kisses!?!


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