blkdragon

grounded
2006-11-25 01:45:05 (UTC)

Ketch up 6

10/16--11:36PM—I was late for work this morning, turned off
the alarms and got back into bed, after that it was rush
city; hell, it’s rush city every morning.
The day was busy, but ok, until Charles called; he wanted to
discuss the money at Western Union. I was working and didn’t
have time to discuss something that was not a priority for
me, he didn’t bother to consider the message I left that
tells all that I’m unavailable until after 5. I answered his
subsequent call, told him I was working, he responded with
“but” and I told him again that I was working and he’d have
to call me after 5.
I called the number when I got home, it’s his Mother’s phone
and she wanted information relative to the money at Western
Union. Neither of them are working and I won’t be
interrupted while I’m working, she told me that she was able
to get the money and thanked me, blah-blah-blah. I got a
call from my Eldest Sister Fret, she was asking if we got
any snow, I was tired from working all day and talked to her
while sitting in the car; I’d tell her (eventually) that I’d
just gotten off a ten hour workday and wanted to go home.
She asked about the apartment I’m moving to, apparently she
had time to kill and I was too tired to shoot it.
Louisa’s Sister (Lill) called with the funeral arrangements,
I told her that I didn’t think I’d be able to come, but that
I’d try to come down to see her Mother in the near future. I
decided to ask her about Lenny’s last days, I had a feeling
that it may have been he invading my dream the other night.
From what Lill told me, Lenny was alive when I had that
dream, that doesn’t discount the possibility that the figure
in the dream wasn’t Lenny.
I tried calling Bea, I wanted her touch, I got no answer and
was able to leave no message; as she’d warned me. I’ve come
to realize that each day without Bea seems longer than 24 hours.
Ray brought me a pair of Timberland boots today, they fit
and I’m wearing them to work. He told me that his
Grandfather wants my address; he wants to thank me
personally for the things I’ve done and sent to him by way
of his Grandson. I’ll give my address to Ray tomorrow, along
with game demos for his Son’s Playstation system and a
couple of stuffed bears for his Daughter, she just had a
birthday. I also have National Geographic issues for Ray to
bring to his Grandfather and an album of North American
Birds, Ray has told me that his Grandfather loves anything
with birds in it; he’s currently reading “Been Tagged”.
10/17--5:46PM—It was a busy day, until we began having minor
problems, the day would officially end @3:30. I was watched
carefully, by the men in the bindery, my guess is that
they’ve been told that I consider them bitches with dicks
and I could care less.
I got a call from Charlotte, I was trying to prepare myself
for the rink, she was on her way to Billy’s and I was
wondering why she was calling me; I’m of the opinion that
she wants another invitation and there’s not one forthcoming.
I made it to the rink by 7:30, the ski club was already
there and everyone kept pointing to their watches. Tracy
mentioned being tired, she’d driven to NC and when I asked
about the car she drove Zenzele was quick to mention that it
was a rental. I told Tracy and Zenzele about Lenny and
Louisa, I waved to Peggy and she showed me that she’d bought
her own skates.
I’d planned to roll slowly, I found that I couldn’t,
although I’d worked on my feet for 10 hours; I still had
energy to burn.
Sheridan arrived after me, he’d eventually ask if I’d be
interested in being the superintendent of a building he’s
considering buying, I’d be able to live there rent free and
it would allow me to return to school for my degree; I told
him that I’d probably be amenable to that idea.
I was asked if I’d go to the diner tonight, I did and had a
good time, I’m still being bugged about joining the Nubian
Ski Club; I told them not to expect it. I mentioned food
items that I prepare, baked goods and salads, the Nubians
want to see what I’m talking about; especially Zenzele. When
it was time to go, we hugged each other, I could have sworn
that Zenzele raised her leg on my thigh when I hugged her; I
found that a bit blatant and lacking in finesse. I have no
chemistry with Zenzele, during the skate she complained of
having low blood sugar, said she may be hypo-glycemic and
asked for anything with sugar in it; I gave her a life saver
and iced tea. I’m no Doctor and she doesn’t need saving!
Zenzele may believe that I’m interested in Tracy, I’m not,
she seems to compete with Tracy for my attention; Tracy
appears to be genuine where Zenzele does not. I’m not
interested in either of these ladies.
I noticed Brenda made a point of coming through the
pressroom today, I’m sure that’s not something she normally
does.
10/18--11:14PM—Things were a bit stressful for Ralph today,
he got over it. I had a couple of stops to make before going
home, then had to go out again, I needed creamer and they
didn’t have it at my regular store. I thought about Bea all
day, it saddened me that she’s not touching me and I can’t
continue to rationalize her actions, if she’s not into me
this is the perfect way to show it; I won’t leave the light
on for her.
I came in the house after my runs, left my phone in the car,
when I retrieved it I noticed Charlotte had called; I
returned her call. We found ourselves talking for the better
part of a couple of hours, it was back to our normal
conversations, uninhibited and open. She talked about Billy,
I spoke briefly about Bea and at the end of our conversation
I thanked her for helping me to rest, she thanked me for
listening to her. I told her that I was being selfish when I
told her not to talk to me about Billy and that the bottom
line would always be that I’m her friend first, we talked
about her visit here, how she is never comfortable enough
the first time she’s with someone to take her clothes off.
She told me that she wanted me to see her lace lingerie, how
she never sleeps in the nude and that’s how she slept in my
bed; she was surprised by her comfort levels. I told her
that I’ve never conversed with any woman I was making love
to and how I don’t like using the word fuck when talking
about making love to a woman.
She asked me if she were to tell me to fuck her harder,
would I, I said yes; that would be sexual wordplay. In a
conversation, I detest the term fuck when talking about
making love to a woman. In ending the conversation, I told
Charlotte that I hadn’t told her something in quite some
time and I said “I love you Charlotte”, she said; “and I
love you. I then told her goodnight.
I’m about to soak, I’ll have a dram of Sambuca and then it’s
a wrap.
10/19--11:41PM—I worked hard today, I pass through the
bindery, I tend not to look into many faces. Ray asked me
what size coat I wear, he wants to give me a Northface; I
told him that I probably wear whatever size he wears. I
shared my breakfast with him today, I told him about
Charlotte’s calling me and we laughed about it, everyone
sees that Ray is one of the few people that I’ll come to the
bindery (exclusively) to talk to and I could care less if it
bothers them.
I thought about Charlotte today, she’s trying very hard to
keep me close, I also thought about Bea today and I can’t
give thought to what may or may not be with her; the only
thing I know is that Bea hasn’t called, c’est la vie!
Actually, Bea’s not calling is a bit painful, I find myself
zoning out with thoughts of her; there’s a serious emptiness
growing. I think Charlotte wanted me to invite her back to
my home and I’d really like to, I’m not going to be a side
dish, the subject of sex invariably came up; she wants to
please me while I’m driving. Charlotte is an exhibitionist,
what’s funny is the fact that she can’t say the word, I
won’t tease her about it because I know it’s a sore spot
with her; I’m sure I can help her to pronounce multiple
syllables.
I imagine I could get into that with her, at some point,
just not now. I told her that there’s no way I’d allow her
to eat of me while I’m driving, my orgasm is full body,
spasmodically intense. Although the French call the sexual
conclusion, le petite mort, the little death; I’m not in the
mood to risk my life for the thrill.
So I thought of Charlotte today, they were pleasing thoughts
and they kept me from thinking of Bea. I’ve wondered about
Charlotte and I, it seems that neither of us is able to get
what we want and I know that God or the powers that be
concern Themselves with what we need, perhaps we need each
other. I’m sure we’d be able to make each other happy, we’ve
already done so!
I skated tonight, now my shoulders are sore and I’m limping
from a plantar wart in my foot, not to mention the general
fatigue in my legs; but life goes on.




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