Please God, Don't let my child be like this
that my friends (for as long as the link is active) is the
face of a man who has won but lost oh so much more. i'm
referring to the almost traditional brain trauma which
fleets through our nation whenever a new console is
released. i remember last november when the xbox 360 was
released and i was walking to work noticing that there were
an inordinate amount of people outside of the best buy right
by our office. not only did they look like they hadn't
showered in about 3 days, but they also had tents, sleeping
bags, and apparently no lives.
i remember walking in to work that day and cracking on those
people with my boss telling me, "you know why i hired you?
because you didn't look like one of those losers who would
wait outside on the dirty ass pavement for a game console."
and the thing is...why? now don't get me wrong. i LOVE
video games...wel maybe not as much as i used to. but jesus
as a kid i was all into them. i let sega ass rape me with
each of their new decrepit consoles and i had both the
original nes and the super nintendo. my bro and i would
pool our money together and buy the latest games when they
came out and overall, i was just as obsessed as any other
teenager would be.
but the thing is (like with the guy in that picture) these
are ADULTS. i mean i can still see it being cute and all
when you're still in undergrad or whatever...but if you're
having your mom call in sick for you at jack in the box so
that you can lie on a dirty, cold, curb eating a beef
meximelt and washing it down with a can of luke warm
mountain dew just so that you can waste the next 3 weeks of
your life playing a new video game console...then you have
to seriously re-examine your life.
and it's not really that i think that no adults should play
video games. in fact, i think it's fucking sweet and i
would probably fail out of law school if i allowed myself to
do it...but that's the thing, i don't.
i don't understand why someone would wait outside of a mall
for 3 days so as to pay $600 (RIDICULOUSLY overpriced by the
way...i'm certain that this will be one of the biggest
moments of disbelief in our time) for a console. not only
did you just shell out $600 for it, but you HAVE to play it
for at least 3 days straight to even begin to make it worth
sort of like when madden came out and people actually (with
a straight face) would tell the local news reporter that
they had "called in sick for the next 3 days so that they
could play." i may have written a journal about this when
that happened, but nothing would make me fire someone on the
spot than seeing that.
that is just fucking ridiculous but granted, someone who is
doing that can't really take too much pride in where they
i don't know what i'm trying to say really other than that i
am in disbelief. but come on it's not just these video game
losers but everyday suburban parents...tickle-me elmo ring a
bell? people will get into fucking fist fights over this
shit. they will trample over each other and push each other
otu of the way and i guess that that's just how it is.
somewhere inside of us that primal instinct which was meant
to convey the "my child needs a slab of meat of that wolly
mammoth and i will kill anyone to get a piece" into the "my
child is gonna want to live with his father if i don't get
him the new 'sega rally championship' so i will kill anyone
that gets in front of me in the wal-mart line" mentality.
i guess at the very least it gives us that primordial
entertainment. the fact that the idiot holding up this ps3
can feel like he is a winner, when in all reality he will
just be as empty three weeks from now as he was standing in
line for the console, only $600 poorer.