Go Veg

The Road to Vegetaria
2006-11-13 16:21:03 (UTC)

Being one-upped

Monday November 13 2006
11:05am EST

Hm. So what has the last week been like?

Story of the week: on Thursday my archnemesis co-worker,
the one who got the job I deserved last December, S, told
me some news. She and I have to work together nearly every
day and I have to be nice to her so we're always chatting
and stuff... so she casually mentioned she'd be out all
summer. And I'm like "all summer?" And she was like "yeah,
maternity leave." *heart drops to floor*

"Wow, congratulations!" *trying hard not to sound fake*

Ugh. My guess is that she got pregnant around the same
time I did. Now I have to spend the entire winter watching
her belly grow and feel bitter and angry that she gets
what I wanted.. yet again.

*cry* *sigh*

So right after that phone call I went to the bathroom and
noticed watery CM. Woohoo! Fertile mucous! Immediately I
started wanting to make a baby. I could NOT wait a cycle.
Not at all.

Went home, casually mentioned to Jon that I thought I
might ovulate soon. He's like "but we're not trying this
cycle, right?" and I was like "uuuuuhhh.... "

He's just worried that I'll miscarry again. I told him
that I'd done my research, and since I didn't have a D&C I
was comfortable trying this cycle. I just can't sit back
and feel my little egg being released and not send some
troops in there to meet her!

So, besides a "for fun" session Tuesday night, we did it
again that night. I felt kinda sick (allergies?) that
night so I called out sick on Friday. Plus, it would've
been too hard to see S. It was really nice to stay home. I
went grocery shopping and to Target (stocked up on
Christmas cards). Had a quiet night.

Saturday we did nothing. Had another BD (babydance)
session that night, since my temperature still hasn't
risen. Still a small amount of watery CM. Um... Jon had
kind of a difficult time entering me, and lost his
erection. Had to help himself out to get hard again. I
finally had to be on top. That was weird and he felt weird
about it.

Sunday we got up and went to Jon's parents' house. Jon
threw in a load of laundry and we got lunch at this
Chinese/Japanese place. Jon's mom was in rare form --
really happy and smiley. Weird. Stopped at the grocery
store afteward, where she bought us $90 worth of
groceries. Back at their house Jon hooked up some computer
thing for his dad and did more laundry. We left around
4:45pm, as they left for dinner with friends.

Came home... joked around about BDing again. Cause, you
know, still no temp rise. I told Jon he had a funky
smell... it was his ass. Made him smell the couch where he
was just sitting. Tears ran down my face I was laughing so
hard and him catching a whiff. So he jumped in the shower.
He was totally freaked out at me asking for sex for the
4th time this week. I think even when we first got
together we didn't do it this often. I felt weird -- kind
of worried he wouldn't be ok, especially since he lost his
erection the night before. Wouldn't you know it, same
thing happened that night. I wasn't well lubricated, and
we can't use regular lube (it's not friendly to sperm),
and the special stuff I got, Preseed, is used internally,
so I was still a little dry and he just had trouble. It
was kind of difficult for both of us. And frustrating and
I felt really bad for him. I don't want him to feel
pressured to perform or anything.

But we finally got it right. I hope the Preseed works,
because I had a temp dip today which can mean ovulation is
today. I also had some ovulation pains last night before
doing the deed, so I hope his little men are there to
greet my little egg today. Because I really don't want to
do it again tonight!! I'm kind of tired and I feel bad for
Jon!

So, I'm at work today, feeling kinda eh. I dunno. I just
feel weird today. Trying to conceive is tough. I don't
know how some couples do this month after month with no
results. I do hope I'm pregnant this cycle, but if I'm not
that's ok too (I say that now, talk to me again about 2
weeks after I ovulate).

This is hard. I feel like calling Heather, too. Maybe
later today.




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