Beadgirl

I am out of ideas
2006-11-13 03:21:49 (UTC)

I had better get some sleep.

It's ten-eighteen, and I am wide awake, and my stomach is in
knots. (I'm sure the homemade fried potatoes and onions
didn't help me any this evening. Tom kept saying, "It's an
appetizer!" as I was cooking tomato soup for dinner, but by
the time we ate three whole fried potatoes and two onions,
we were whupped.) I took a look at my face in the bathroom
mirror before, and my complexion is terrible. Too much
chocolate and too much stress. I haven't been regularly
scrubbing it with that medicated soap, either. My hair
looks awful - I love T., and she's a wonderful person, but
dammit, every time she cuts my hair, I wind up looking like
a female Joe Dirt.

Worrying about everything again, it feels like. Need to
relax, somehow, but don't know how. Feeling another anxiety
attack coming on again, really, have felt it all fuckin'
night, and now I think I've got to go upstairs and either
try to go to bed or have a hot bath. I don't know which
would be better for me. All I know is that I feel like I'm
about an inch away from crying until dehydration sets in,
and I don't like the feling.

Been cutting up a lot of jewelry that I made lately. Have
been cutting it up and either using it to make something
else or just putting the beads into tubes and bags and not
making anything else at all.

Work again tomorrow. Drat.




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