Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-11-10 04:50:35 (UTC)

Walking proud

Everyone I know makes fun of the way I walk. I've come to
grips with this fact, but I want to set the record
straight: It's not my fault.

I never got made fun of for my walk until I got hit by a
parked car. I basically un-learned how to walk, then had
to re-learn it in Physical Therapy.

Obviously, the fault for my irregular gait rests upon my
physical therapist. I'm guessing that she walks like a
duck on crack, because that's how she taught me to do
it....

Or, perhaps it's the severe skeletal and muscular trauma
that cause my strange walking patterns. After all, there's
really no way to tell exactly how much damage was done to
me.

It could even be God's fault. After all, he's the one
responsible for my ultimate well-being. It's assuredly at
least partially his fault that I walk like Forrest Gump
(pre-leg brace removal).

At this point, I'm thinking of re-opening my lawsuit to
account for the emotional stress of being made fun of for
walking funny. I think it's probably worth at least fifty
grand.

So, the next time you want to make fun of my walk, maybe
you should call my physical therapist, consult my MRI
images, or say a little prayer. Or, better yet, don't say
a thing: just walk away.


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