Lenora

Whatsername
2006-11-04 07:25:10 (UTC)

Peaceful

These days have been peaceful. I have caught up in school.
Work is bearable. There are no boys on my case or in my
head. I have finally gotten some real sleep. Life is
beautiful right now. I'm not confused. My head is clear.
My optimism is off the charts. And, when your optimism is
off the charts, I've found that good things happen. I
expect a change soon.

Hate to bring it up, but I'm still somewhat sad about
my 'friend'. Now, though, it isn't about me. He can think
what he wants. I'm happy with me. I like me. My strange
little traits and all.

I feel bad for him, though. A lot of the things I heard
from him were sad, and now I kind of have an understanding
of them, all put together. That he had 2 friends around
aside from myself and people from work. That he was
convinced that the girl he'd been with the longest (1 year-
also very sad) hadn't really loved him. He's medicated for
mental stuff. Says he can't talk to his family about
anything personal. I've seen him around his friends. They
all seem very distant. The last thing i heard from him was
a line from a song with something to the effect of 'how
lonely does it get?'.

I didn't really like the way he put a disclaimer on the
end of everything he said. Why would someone do that?

I wonder if he really is as cold as I would like to think,
or if he's just fucked up. It'd be easy to understand
the 'fucked up' argument.

And I almost would like to run into him, just to give a
smile and a wave. Nothing more. Smile, and wave, and get
a proper goodbye. Smile, and wave goodbye.




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