Ben

Stuff
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2006-10-28 15:51:23 (UTC)

Someone else

Something i've noticed is that everything and everyone has
changed since i've known them... Everyone but me. I've
stayed the same, im as I was years ago. For example, hoho
is a prep now, ryan is the bigger stoner of everyone, sara
and mikel are sober and lyndsey is a crackhead... Sean is
still a womanizer and so forth so on down the chain until
me. I haven't changed a god damn bit.

Same music, same clothes, same thoughts, same friends...
Never ending chain that I cannot break. A chain that is
seemingly unstoppable. Now it seems the chain is coming
undone, for the first time in my entire life and im a
little freaked out. Going into the air force, i'd have no
friends.. Atleast not that im use to. I'd lose the
friends that I have and when my time is up, it would have
been just like jail..

I've spent so much of my life helping everyone else,
putting my emotions and everything that I believe aside
just to make them feel better. Make them stop crying...
Make them stop cutting. All of that time I should have
paid more attention to me. Now I feel selfish for leaving
everyone... Because I know damn well, i'm about to lose
out on what should be the greatest time of my life.

If for some reason, the air force kicks me out, I know
exactly what i'll be doing and what i'll be doing will be
fun. A dream of mine for so long. Get an apartment in
Hinton Heights, buy a pound, and see who comes. But thats
all in another lifetime.


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