so here i am up at 6:30 in the morning after having walked
with my baby to her work. i am currently sitting here with
a hot cup of coffee and some gnocchi covered in an
unspeakable mixture of pesto, cream cheese, and sun dried
i am also watching our local news.
now i'm down for some kids and all in all i like them a lot.
but as i watch the news now i wonder how parents sleep at
night. let me run down the top three news stories i just
1.) man in a gorilla suit runs into a grocery store grabs a
5 year old boy right in front if his parents and tries to
run away with him.
okay, now read that sentence again.
are you fucking serious? holy shit, can you imagine being
that little kid? anyhow, the craziest thing about this is
that when they caught the guy (he didn't make it out of the
store thankfully) THE POLICE LET HIM GO!
okay now first of all, i would have fucking killed him if i
had caught up to him first. seriously, i'm thinking that
a.) no jury would convict me on the grounds of defending my
son from an alleged kidnapper
b.) society would be better off not having men in gorrila
costumes kidnap little kids.
the guys excuse was that it was a joke. a joke? jesus christ.
2.) some 8 - 10 year olds are playing soccer when they are
attacked by a group of teenagers with pellet guns
now this one isn't nearly as upsetting or crazy as the first
one, but the thing is that it is still amazing in a way, and
if my kid got shot with a pellet gun i'd have to blow up the
other kid's house...all these things to do.
3.) a car-jacker forces a mother out of her mini-van and
drives off with her two infant children.
now first off. you would damn near have to shoot me in the
face to ge tme to leave the car with my kids in it. and
second off, how scary is that? can you imagine the thoughts
going through that mother's mind when that car is racing off?
tahnkfully, they caught the mini-van and the kids were
returned safely to their mother.
and i haven't even finished my coffee or touched my gnocchi.