blkdragon

grounded
2006-10-15 00:36:21 (UTC)

Bea's Day

9/29--4:14 PM—There was work pending this morning, it
wouldn’t be ready until 9am, I’d have to find something to
do and I don’t like that. I went to work with Matt, he told
me that he wanted to work alone and it didn’t matter that
there wasn’t anything to do, I didn’t want to stand around
doing nothing; I left him to his solitary and told myself I
wouldn’t gravitate to his machine unless sent there.
From now on, I’ll wait for Chuck to arrive and tell me what
he wants me to do. I eventually worked the Perfect Binder
for the day with Ray and Brenda, I’d given Brenda a banana
yesterday, she’s having difficulty; Ray told me that I now
have a friend for life. I’ve come to find that she’s
playing on the compassion of her co-workers. I told her
about Lisa and the fact that I’m leery of getting
personally involved with females on the job. She seems to
be trying to snag a man to lean on and it ain’t me, she
made a comment about going home and her Daughter locking
her out of the house, she said she’d be knocking on my
door; when she made that comment Ray laughed his ass off.
She’ll never have my address, she then asked if I could
give her a ride to the bank and then to the bus-stop; I’m
not making myself available in that fashion, I did extend
her a ride to the bus-stop though. I’ll be putting
considerable space between us.
9/30--9:03—AM Lavon never got the picnic basket for me, I
wasn’t surprised. I’m wondering if I should wing it with
Bea, I really need to escort her to get comfortable
glasses; I don’t want to worry about her driving at night
and not being able to see.
I got a call from my Brother Bilal yesterday, it bothered
me, it was the middle of the morning and I immediately
sensed it had to do with my Mother. I asked Ray and Marsha
to cover for me and ran to listen to the voicemail, my
Brother wanted me to call him, I got instantly angry, now I
believed he wanted to discuss my Son with me and I wasn’t
trying to hear his opinion on my child-rearing practices.
I wasn’t going to call him, but I did, my Mother’s meds
have been changed due to her having been aggressive the
week I went to see her; she got aggressive when Bilal and
his Daughters arrived during my visit. He asked that we not
ask our Mother any questions that would cause her to think,
I don’t understand the rationale behind that request and I
don’t need to, he also suggested playing the part during
our Mother’s delusions; I already do that as a matter of
fact. It’s common sense to become part of my Mother’s
current emotional and mental state and my Brother didn’t
need to suggest what I already surmised, it’s to keep my
Mother from being too disoriented.
I got a call from Bea this morning, we’ll be meeting at
Panera in the Clifton Park Mall, I had other plans for us
today that will have to be executed at another time; just
being with her today is going to be enough for me. I told
her to bring the mp3 player; I just finished her Big
Maybelle CD, she just left her house and I have 75 minutes
to get to Panera.
I plan to wash the car and then I’m off!
10:58PM—I finally made it to our meeting place before Bea,
that deserved a kiss in and of itself, I gave her the cd
and helped her out of her jeep. She wore a green skirt, a
white top and a sweater, I noticed her breasts were not as
small as she thinks; they fit her body. She’d once told me
all the things she didn’t like about herself; I like all
the things she doesn’t like. I wore green pants, a white
(cotton) shirt with intersecting lines of color, some of
which were green; it happens to be one of my favorite
shirts. I also wore my olive green shoes; Bea commented on
our similar color schemes.
I’d told Bea what I planned to wear, she dressed
accordingly. It took me a while to find Panera’s, she’d
continued to call me and leave messages; I’d had my phone
on vibrate and missed all the calls. At first we went into
Panera’s, she didn’t want to stay and we got in my car, I
had things to show her; the first of which was the hotel;
so I drove to Latham.
We pulled into the parking lot and went to check the place
out, it has old world charm, I kept her close; with my hand
on the small of her back and we did a walk through. As we
were leaving she grabbed my arm and snuggled a bit closer
to me. We were talking about my relationship with my
Brother and my Mother’s condition, we went to check out the
restaurant, then went back to the hotel to view the
breakfast nook; she loved the place.
I then took her to Guptill’s, there was skating today, what
was most important was the proximity of the hotel to the
rink. I then took her to my job site, she mentioned the
pizza I’d told her about and asked if we could go for some,
the place is right around the corner from my apartment and
I told her that we could go there.
The place hadn’t opened yet, I wanted to give Bea a tour of
my apartment, she was adamant about not going inside; I
remember her saying that she wanted to see my apartment and
now she was saying that she had a standing rule about
entering a man’s home.
I tried to talk her into coming inside for a moment, she
refused and I respected her wishes, she did want to see the
outside of the building though and I drove past my home. I
took her for a drive through Washington Park and then we
headed back to Clifton Park and her jeep, she told me how
she cruises at 63 mph and why, all the traffic passes her
and she’s able to enjoy the scenery, we’d seen an RV on the
side of the road and she’d told me that hers was the same
size; it was pretty big.
I held her hand throughout our drive, I’d also noticed that
she’d worn her wedding rings, I’ll mention that to her when
we talk again. She’d told me that she should arrive home by
6 and that she would call me, she didn’t and I called her
from the parking lot of Guptill’s at 7, she’d only been
home for 7 minutes; I told her where I was and that I would
call her when I was finished skating.
By the time I called her, I imagine she’d gone to sleep,
when I’d spoken to her earlier she’d told me that she had a
great time with me this afternoon; I enjoyed the time we
shared as well.
Earlier today, I’d e-mailed Charlotte and told her that I
wouldn’t be calling her anymore, I didn’t feel right about
it; I didn’t want to get in the way of her relationship
with Billy. I told her that I still love her and that I’d
be there if and when she needed me, also that I couldn’t
separate my heart whenever she touched me and I needed to
be able to do that, I also told her that I don’t do
the “thing on the side thing”. I won’t be party to any
deception Charlotte has in place with Billy; she doesn’t
understand that if she’s not willing to be completely
honest with him, he shouldn’t have to be honest with her.
Being that she’s willing to hide things from him and she
says she loves him, she’d be equally willing to hide things
from me.
I’m going to devote my time to Bea, she’s worth it and I’m
worth her.




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