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2006-10-12 23:40:51 (UTC)


We met on Valentines day 06; didn't think much of the
meeting, we talked, laughed and had a good time; He went
to hug me as I walked to the table, but I went to shake
his hand. In the end, I did hug him and went on my merry
When Larry and I met, I had no clue that he and I would
date or get serrious. He was dating many people and it
got to a point where he would call me and talk to me about
some of the people he was going out with and what was
going on etc.

Shortly after my 2nd trip to California, I began to see a
lot of him -- and things got heated up after a couple of
weeks hanging out. He and I became intimate on a casual
basis. He was still "dating" and meeting other women. I
told him that I wasn't good with that and if that is how
it was gonna be then I think the initmacies should stop.

He ended up emailing the one chick he was hanging with and
forwarded the email to me. So I figured it was done - we
were going to just date each other, etc.

In may he ended up having to go to Ohio twice, and in the
airport on the 2nd trip out he wispered in my ear as he
was hugging me before going to the gate that he loved me.
I was shocked - and Sonja was sitting there and just said
did I hear what I think I heard etc...

June came - Father's day and his birthday to be specific.
He had made plans to go out to breakfast with his
friend "rodney" on a Sunday morning -- and made love with
me prior to leaving. He was acting a bit wierd and I
heard him in the laundry room on the phone - trying to be
quiet or whatever...I later confirmed that he was with
someone else and not Rodney.

Then his birthday came...I had said a few times that I
would like to see him, do something, and we planned a trip
to laughlin on the weekend. He had co-workers and a
vendor in town and used that to cover his story and plans.
He didn't go home on the night of his birthday; his story
to me was that he got drunk and got a hotel room; Never
did hear the real version of that story, but was also able
to confirm later that he was hanging out at happy hour
with the same person he had breakfast with on Father's
day. They were going back and forth emailing etc;

I had an emotional breakdown the friday after his
birthday - expressed how I felt, how much it hurt me...
etc; He appoligiged and has seemed to be glued to my side
pretty much since then.

Here is the delimma or where I'm at now:
we went to laughlin, had a good time for the most part
we've gone to Vegas a couple of times and had a good time
he's gone out and bought me a ring - and nice jewelry for
my birthday, included me in all of his stuff w/ his kids
and family etc. we went to Ohio, I met all of his family...

however - I have found that he was kinda of persuing this
chick in the end of june - it seems that has stoped since
his birthday from what I could tell.. then I found that he
was chatting with one gal thru end of August give or
take... tellin her of all his plans, but no mention of
doing them with me obviously.

in a message to sandy he wonders why I'm with him and her
response was because he was nice to me....

This has put a few doubts in my mind - as well as I'm
seeing some behaviors that I don't care for...
he got frustrated with me because I wasn't helping him
much with his math and I opened my own math
over it and appolgiged about that and said it's nothing
personal to me..

There are lots of comments, discussion regarding being
faithful, what the defination of cheating is in my opinion
and what I can't tolerate. He say's he doesn't cheat when
he's committed. I asked when he thought we became
committed he said a few months after we started dating -
but I felt like it was July tho I found he was chatting
and stuff even after that.

he doesn't want much of my stuff -- kinda of limiting what
I can put out and where -- which really isn't a big deal,
can cross that bridge when I get there, but the issue of
wanting to have a pool, bring my spa and the storage
issues... now looming a lot of debt right off the bat. we
need a vehicle to transport the atv's, need a place to
store them, need to lay a pad and bring wiring out for the
spa, wants to put in a garage and a loft/studio, I would
like a pool but looking at minimum of $27K...

when he wants to do stuff I just usually say ok and go
along with it - even it if means that I have to juggle my
own stuff later... but yet with him, he doesn't or can't
find time to be or do for me with out me twisting his arm.
For example I asked him to help with the concesions at the
school - he didn't want to but I coaxed him - he forgot
about it until I called him when I got to the school.

Today I wanted to stay home and fix breakfast for Deanna
on Saturday morning before her SAT test and he has a lot
of things he needs to do at his house, etc... but yet he
can fit in going to the greek festival and spending time
w/ his daughter. That really hit a nerve - and it's
adding up to all the other issues that I've been dealing
with here lately.

I've considerded backing off... I'm considering not moving
in with him or at least putting it off a little bit more.
I don't want to do it to appease Deanna, but for some
reason here lately, I'm seeing why I prefer to be alone
and do my own things.

It is nice going out and doing things and being social
with Larry -- I enjoy the events for the most part, I like
the places we go to and all -- but I'm not liking how I
feel about him at the moment -and it could all be just
about the trust -- I have stressed several times to him
aobut that - and it doesn't seem that the playing field is

I try to turn the tables and still can't figure it out...
so guess only time will tell; Try to take it slow - get
done with the math stuff... but food for thought at the