Soul Flares
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2006-10-11 03:31:12 (UTC)

Finally OVER it

I'm finally done. Done with feeling like nothing. Feeling
worthless. What Tommy did to me is in the past. What he put
me and my heart through is over. It's done. And I'm done
with hating myself for it. It was HIS fault. What he did to
me was wrong; and HE knew it. but he kept asking. He kept
using me.

He even KNEW that was what he was doing. I'm a kid! I
thought I loved him; and he used it against me. I know
better now. I know real love. True love. So I'm over him.
I'm over what he did to me. I loathe him for it; and I will
smack him SO HARD when I see him agian. but I'm over it.

I wont let what he did affect me anymore. I wont let it play
into how I see myself. He was in the wrong. He trapped me
and used me but that doesn't make me nothing. It doesn't
make me a whore; or worthless or nothing. I am perfect and
wonderful and amazing and beautiful. I deserve better than
what he did to me. I always deserved better than that.

I will chew him out if he tries to talk to me agian. I will
yell and insult him and smack him. He will get nothing else
from me but my fire and my fury. I'll show him what I'm
worth. I'll show him what I'm capable. He'll see. I'm
finally free; he can't use or hurt me anymore.

I'm going to show everyone. I can be confident. I can be
strong. I don't need anyone else to tell me what I'm worth;
or what I'm good for. Only I decide who I am. Only I make my
worth. God forgive me for ever letting myself be his pawn,
and thinking that I was nothing because he treated me like it.