soul survivor
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2006-09-30 03:09:34 (UTC)

I feel like my love life is falling apart.

Dear Journal,

Lately i feel like everything is just about to fall apart.
I just feel so darn stressed out that it absolutely kills
me. I'm fighting with cameron alot more lately.

Tonight we had a fight, about kids and having a prenup.
The kids stuff, i want a kid by the time i'm 26 he wants
to have one when i'm 30. i don't wanna have one at that
age. I wanna raise another one when i'm 28 at least.
When you have 2 kids aroudn the same age at least they
grow up together and can do the samethings together. So
one kid doesn't feel left out then the other.

2nd fight we have was over the prenup...I DON'T SEE A
POINT. Tonight i asked he whats the point, "just in case
you take my money" also he said that " if i don't sign one
we are going to spilt" I've told him "if we ever split
whats your is yours and mine is mine" simple! How hard is
that to comprehend???. Like really! "we split everyting
I know i can take care of myself, i don't need anyone's
money. I know that i'll be getting some of my own
inheritence as well, maybe not as much as cameron but just
enough to get me started. Then i know i'll be fine.

I have dreams and goals too. I dreams was to marry cameron
have a child together and spend the rest of our lives
together. My goals have a career as well.
If i don't have a child then i'm going to be full blown on
my career.

Honestly i'm might have to rethink my whole life out
again. And if i decided that it's over i'm never EV-ER
going to date again. Cuz this will be the biggest
heartbreak that i'll ever go through. but i know that i
will not make myself suffer just like how i did when i was
with kale. I won't be able to go on with life w/o hurting
everyday. I have to prepare myself for what might come.

gotta go tell u tommrrow or maybe in a couple of days.