nin137

Nick's Journal
2006-09-28 02:31:07 (UTC)

Hostage

i don't know if you've read about the hostage situation
today at a highschool in colorado. apparently a gunman took
6 girls hostage today and barricaded himself within the
school. after having let go 4 of the girls, the SWAT team
eventually decided to end the seige and stormed him. the
guy ended up killing himself and one of the hostages, a 16
year old girl.
i have to admit i am pretty wrapped up in law school right
now. although i keep tabs of what's going on in the outside
world (which always seems to be dominated by Terrell Owens
somehow) i never fully digest it.
well i don't know if it's the sinus medication or the coffee
(or both) but after i read that on cnn, i just couldn't help
but try and imagine the horror that happened to that girl
today.
i am blessed (or maybe cursed) with a vivid imagination. i
sat there in the law library staring out at a beautiful
sunny 70 degree day and tried to imagine the life of a 16
year old girl. i imagined it's dominated by myspace, by
friendships, by boys, i really don't know. i could just
imagine here going to school that morning, i wonder what she
ate, what she thought, if her parents annoyed her as they
usually tend to when you're that age.
i wondered if she met up with her best friend to gossip
about some new myspace comment or if she flirted with some
guy. i wondered if she labored through the un-godly 9 am
math class or if she spent it writing notes.
then at some point it all went to shit. some lunatic got
her along with 5 others and here world turned red...or
black...i don't know. did she know the other girls? what
did she think after the first hour, after the first girl was
let go? did she think, "oh good, this might turn out
alright, he seems to be letting people go." i wonder what
she thought when the 4th girl was released. did a pang of
terror run through her stomach?
did she hope that the other girl would be chosen to stay
with the guy? did she think about her family? the split
second division of normal teenage girl life into chaotic
hostage situation had thrown my imaginary 16 year old girl
into a dizzying array of emotions.
i can't even begin to fathom how horrible it must be when it
seems like there is a good chance you must die. or right
before the gun was aimed at her and she knew that was
it...what rushed through her mind?
the problem is that this is never really thought of. or at
least not from what i've been doing. i read cases like these
ten times over and weed out and discard the "facts" the way
a racoon digs through garbage. never do we look at what the
case represents...WHO it represents. but then again that's
not really wrong, if we were to do that we'd never gain the
knowledge we need.
but i just wonder. that pain and that horror, what for? i
mean i know that that is a stupid question. we don't really
ever know. we can't ever really eradicate it. i just find
it chilling that such a bloody situation seemed to have been
on a collision course with this 16 year old girl as the two
went hurtling down the tunnel of time.
worlds collide everyday i suppose, but when they create such
a loud explosion, maybe we can take the time to reflect on
it, beyond a simple shrug of, "well what can you do?"




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