I don't know who the fuck you are....but please vote for me!
the big time is approaching my friends! no not the upcoming
mid-term elections but the ever innocuous representation of
the student body by the SBA (Student Bar Association!!).
now how do we make an overall meaningless position even more
how do we make it obvious that the only assholes who
actually care about this shit are the eventual powermongers
who will get caught with $400,000 in cash in their freezer?
well how about we enjoin the candidates to campaign three
weeks into the school year!
we know that you are just out of your mind with work and the
frenzy which results in trying to meet all 281 of your
classmates spread out over three sections...but hey, we'll
make a mockery of sincerity by downright shoving it into
your face that these meaningless posts aren't based upon
meritocracy, but just who pumps the most cocks (i mean
handshakes). the person who smiles at the right time and
that says that one funny line when they give a terse,
tortured, trainwreck of a speech in just under one minute.
now that's all fine and good. whatever. but what is the
deal with people using their last names as their campaign
fuck! is there not one person who doesn't have a marketable
here they are:
seemingly impossible right?
here are their slogans....
"yama hama! hello moto! she's got the connections to be your
"farmer...he's the best in the field."
"krycezinski or just call me 'K' i can lead a team." (the
last one is a reference to coach 'K' of the duke basketball
in case you're an idiot).
is there no one in this godforsaken world who won't whore
out his last name for the sake of power?
wait...they're campaigning after 3 weeks of school....