Nick's Journal
2006-09-16 01:42:21 (UTC)

Talking to a naked dude is harder than you'd think

i need a break from briefing cases, so let me indulge you in
a story that happened not too long ago...
i have made it a habit to go to our dungeon of a gym at
least 3 times a week. well there i am just hanging out
doing my thing when i notice a dude trying to catch my eye;
you know the demeanor when someone kind of knows you and
wants to communicate that he does in fact know you? you
don't? you mean your not a sociopath? oh.
well it's when everytime you look up the dude is looking in
your direction with a half-smile on his face and
let's get to the point.
in thet locker room my locker happens to be situated right
next to a comopletely naked guy. now...mind you, i have no
problem with naked men one way or the other; i just prefer
them clothed. well i go up to my locker in the usual
mannerism of someone who doesn't have a problem with naked
men but prefers them fully clothed...namely inching my way
at a completely perpendicular angle to his front side in an
effort to get to my locker.
naked man looks up,
"hey dude! you're in my section aren't you?"
it's the guy who had been trying to catch my eye the whole time.
"um...yeah. hey...nick.."
for a brief second i was going to extend my hand for a shake
but then i mentally retracted that thought as i realized
that HIS hand had just been used to clean his loins.
"i'm'd you like torts?"
well i don't need to go into the specifics of our
conversation just the overlying theme.
that theme was me trying my best to construct a conversation
out of the discombobulated thoughts that fleeted through my
mind. 'be nice'....'don't look down'...'why not?'...'oh
god!'...'that's why'...'he just said he's from
canada'...'say something to acknowledge that and not his
and so on and so forth.
truthfully it worked out a lot better than i thought it
would. after a while josh finally pulled his boxers on and
we were able to dive into some true discussions (such as
fantasy football).
you see there's a reason why we wear clothes in our society
no matter what any 'contrarian belief' may express.
we wear clothes so as to say,
"we're human, but i am dressing as such to put on an aire"
that's what we have suits's a certain type of aire.
that's essentially why people judge you by what you wear.
considering that your clothes are the way you decide to
cover the very 'bare' essentials of your humanistic nature.
you're essentially guarding people from the animalistic
interactions brought on by straight nakedness. it's a
complete fallacy to assume that we use clothes to HIDE
something, rather we use clothes for the exact opposite
purpose, we use them to express ourselves.
there's not much expression inherent in the uniformity of
the human body.