Did I mention Law School is competitive?
a couple of days ago i made the horrendous mistake of
sitting in somebody else's assigned seat. in my defense,
all of our classes are in the same room and i just mixed up
the seating chart.
i was met with a stubby finger in the shoulder and a very
obese woman saying,
"you're in my seat!"
none too kindly. well i knew law school would be
competitive, shit i welcomed it. but today was the ULTIMATE
showing of just how cut-throat it is.
in criminal law we had to argue a sentencing for a certain
crime (i.e. how many years we were going to give and so on).
well the teacher asked someone in the class to get up in
front of everybody and present the prosecution's side.
josh (the usual go-getter, obnoxious type) quickly
volunteered and jumnped up in front of the class. "howdy"
fucking cheerfulness. we (as a class) were instructed to be
the judge(s) as josh presented his case for sentencing.
well josh apparently is none to bright and started delving
into the different types of punishment (he basically recited
the textbook back to us) and as i was starting to zone out
and picturing guinea pigs playing And 1 the following
statement was piped up from the front.
"Counsel, could you hurry up and get to the case in point?"
now, not only is that a majorily assholish thing to do to
anyone in front of the entire law school section, but this
was also done by the biggest asshole of the section. to
really appreciate just how horrible this whole incident was
(and believe me i'm not doing it any justice right now) you
have to understand Charlie...the guy who called him out.
Charlie is just an asshole. when you debate with him he
does the only thing that is worse than self-righteousness
and that is dismissiveness. if you argue with him he
automatically tunes you out and dimisses whatever you may
say right from the outset.
well back to the case in point.
josh was now standing up front, absolutely crimson (not even
red, but crimson) in the face. his ears looked like they
were about to catch fire and he started stuttering...now you
see that's the worst thing, i KNOW that all he wanted to do
was just throw his feces at charlie. i mean just really let
him have it. instead he had to swallow it and say,
"yes of course, ahem.." but now his confidence was shattered
and he was shakily proceeding...and that's when shit
completely hit the fan.
after a few quick statements our professor crowed
"AND WHAT IS THE PRINCIPLE BEHIND YOUR ASSERTION?"
i don't need to elaborate as to what went down. it was law
professor vs. first year law student. pit bull vs.
chihuahua. it was over.
our professor HUMILIATED josh in front of everybody and THEN
to top it off he ended with...
"now you see, THIS is a good example of how NOT to be a good
at this there was wide-spread murmur and our teacher quickly
shut us down.
"you guys think i'm being harsh? you guys think that i'm an
asshole now don't you? well guess what! the world is full
of assholish judges who will go to any length to humiliate
you the first time you are in their court."
then he went on to say how NOT ALL judges were assholes but
you had to be prepared for those that were. it ended with
"now let's give josh a round of applause" which to me was
sort of like pulling out before you ejaculated...i mean he
still was fucked in front of everybody.
ugh how horrible.
charlie must die. what a horrible, terrible fuck...i'm
positive that if he hadn't shot off his mouth that our
professor wouldn't have done what he did. he just seized
the opportunity to drive home a point.
well at least josh now has the pity of all law school females