Nick's Journal
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2006-08-21 05:57:52 (UTC)

Death in Gaza

tomorrow is my first day of law school. believe it or not i
don't feel any bit of nervousness. wellll, i guess i do
feel some anxiety, but i don't think it will keep me up.
i've done all my reading, briefed the cases i needed to and
now i just pured myself a glass of water and was getting
ready for bed. then i thought of something.
this evening juli and i watched "Death in Gaza" it's this
documentary about a cameraman who is killed in gaza while
filming interviews with palestinian kids (well it's not
really about him, but anyway). just before he goes to
interview the israeli children he is shot by israeli special
forces. as sad as that is, i was standing in my kitchen
with my brita water filter in one hand and my ikea 'brew at
the zoo' cup in the other and i just thought,
"jesus christ i am fucking lucky"
i mean, here i am. i am secure, i have more privileges than
are even necessary. all these things i have that i take for
granted merely because of their ubiquity...i mean you don't
go around saying, "thank god we have electricity, thank god
we have electricity", it's just there. it's not a horrible
thing to take things for granted, it's almost a form of
adaptation. or else...sensory overload!
anyhow. i watched this movie and these kids are just
immersed in a life of death, despair, and depression. it
has come to the point at which death is so prevalent and so
much a part of life that their society/religion (one and the
same i guess) has turned it on it's head and made it a
joyous occassion (martyrdom).
well i stood there with my 'brew at the zoo' cup and my
brita water pitcher and i thought...what are those kids
doing right now? are they running from bombs? are they
being shot at? or are they simply kicking a soccer ball
against a ballistically reduced shrubble of a wall with
their friends?
i hope the latter and i just thought about the people i
encounter. the 'pain and suffering' of first year law
students...christ give me a fucking break.
it was really one of those movies that made me so sad. it
just seems like such a horrendously fucked up conflict that
these children will be caught in its web until their ends.
the only aspirations beaten into them being that of a
wonderful death at the hands of jihad.
but from this movie i saw that these kids have incredible
aspirations anyhow and i guess that's what really made me
melancholy. the fact that they can still feel optimistic
about their future and want to be something. so many people
i've met in my high school would say, "well if i don't get
into such and such college, that's it for me".
these children have bombs going off around them and gun fire
flying past them and they still hold onto their aspirations
of becoming what they dream of.
well, it's time for bed. my fortunate world of opportunity
will open another door for me tomorrow and i look forward to
it because i just appreciate it so damn much.