Sarah

dying fears and broken tears
2006-08-20 02:51:58 (UTC)

Self Loathing...

I know I should be happy, that I should be satisfied with
the fact that anyone should find me desireable, but I'm
not. It feels like I'm more alone now than I was when I
didn't have anybody. I want something different,
something more. I'm actually starting to hate myself,
because no matter how hard I try, I'm never good enough.
I'm a horrible girlfriend. I can't lose weight. I'm so
full of flaws and imperfections I don't know how anyone
could stand to be near me. I can't even stand myself. I
can't make anymore plans for the future, and I'm dropping
the ones that I had made. They're never going to come
true, I know that now. Sorry to anyone that hurts. I
just...need to think, try to figure out what the hell to
do with myself.

Later




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