La Vida Mia
August 13, 2006
well, i talked to him yesterday about hanging out out. he
said sure,that maybe after whatever he would come over. he
called to cancel, because he was tired. he said he would
visit me at the state fair. so he called and said he would
stop by, then he showed up and darted through. i totallt
saw him, he was moving really fast, maybe becaue he didnt
want me to see him. he called to ask where i was at, i
told him and he stopped by. we hung out for several hours,
it was so great, id trade my life for that again. he met
my friend, it was cool, we did stuff, then we went to the
midway and he won a toy. blah blah blah, he called someone
to give his mom a ride home, didnt work out. said hed hang
out with me if i promised not to take advantage of him.
pretended not to hear, asked what he said, told me never
mind. he had to give her a ride. i walked with him to
meet his mom. met her. walked back to my car, got lost.
he called. said he was tired. his mom asked if i was
greek, she thinks im cute. thats awesome. made a fool of
myself. begged him to hang out with me, said he was
tired. spilled my guts. said he thought i was a dick and
off putting, spilled my guts, thinks i'm mean to him and
its only a game for me, spilled my guts, blah blah blah,
thinks we should go our seperate ways, spilled my guts,
drove by to pick him up, wouldnt come out, friends there,
wasnt cool that i did that. i should moe to london and
forget about him. hes not doing anything, its all me, i
need to move on, hes never promised me anything. then i
went home. tiffanie called and i fell apart. couldnt stop
crying. she said she felt something, so she turned on her
phone and it was me. then she called and we both cried.
it was a mess, i hate himn, but i dont want him to stop
talking to me. i dont know what i would do. i sent hima
text telling him ill leave him alone as long as i can, dont
want him to stop being my friend. i hate myself. if he
stops talking to me,it will be the be thing. i think im
too persuasive for that. wont work out. im doomed.
ditched all my friends, im lame. i wonder how long before
i talk to him again. a few weeks maybe? God i hope so.
please dont let him stop talking to me. i cant remember
what life is like before him.