supergoddess

This diary is my kief,hashish,&opium pip
2006-08-01 19:51:28 (UTC)

Divorce


I always knew one day that my mom would just get up and
leave one day. I knew my parents were on the edge of
divorce for years.

But I never really could imagine my life without her.

Sunday night my parents were fighting. I was here,
upstairs on the computer trying to ignore it like I always
do. I just put on my music and wait until the yelling dies
down and they both go to sleep. But that night they were
much louder than usual (something important was
happening). Well I just ignore it and then my doorbell
rings. Of course I have no idea who it could be so I come
downstairs anyway. My mom answers the door and its the
cops.

The cops.

At my door. Not to mention it's 2 in the morning.

So I'm freaking out. My mom goes outside and explains how
my dad hit her.

The police ask to see my dad, and then arrest him.

My dad got arrested.

Then one of the cops come in and asks my mom all these
questions and my mom explains what happened. Some alarm in
our house was going off and my mom asked my dad to fix it,
so he tries to fix it and he can't. My dogs are crying the
whole time and then my dad gets really mad and hits her.

My dad spent the night in jail on Sunday and we couldn't
get him out until Monday at 1 pm.

I don't even know what to think.

Why the fuck did he have to fucking hit her?


So my parents are getting a divorce now of course. And my
mom is going to move back to New Jersey.

Frankly I really can't handle this and anything bad I've
ever said about her was done in anger, I can't imagine
what my life is going to be like without her..

I seriously hate my fucking life. I wouldn'tve cared that
much if she wasn't going back home (which obviously she
is) because I still could've seen her all the time but
she's going to be a million miles away just like
everything else in my life. She's taking the dogs too.

I really have nothing left. Not my mom, Taja, my dogs, or
Pat.

So this morning my mom was asking me to write some letter
and I just kept whining, I blamed it on the fact that I
was tired but it was really because I was so upset. So she
started yelling at me and saying how I'm just like my dad,
and I can't do anything for anyone.

So then I guess we started yelling at eachother and I went
downstairs and started bawling because my mom is leaving
me, and I tried to call Taja but she wasn't picking up her
phone. So I did something really stupid (obviously,
everything I do is stupid) and I call Zac. So I'm crying
my eyes out.

I swear he probably thinks I'm the weirdest fucking person
that ever lived. I didn't know who else to call. It just
makes me feel better when I tell him things, which isn't
the case with some of my other friends. So I told him most
of what happened, I'm sure he didn't understand half of it
because I was crying like an idiot, and he was really nice
and sympathetic and everything. I haven't talked to him in
a while so basically I called him out of the blue crying
to tell him a bunch of shit.

Whatever.

I'm just glad I know he's there for me, you know? And then
Taja called me back and we talked too. She's been there
for me my whole life consistantly and I'm so thankful for
that.




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