Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-07-28 00:06:38 (UTC)

French Bikers

French citizens turned out in force during the last few
weeks to welcome the riders from the Tour De France.
Witnesses to the scene say that the locals welcomed the
bikers almost as warmly as they welcomed German troops.

This week, another American won the prestigious Tour De
France. As usual, the French immediately tried to strip
him of his title, claiming that a performance enhancing
substance was found in his blood.

That substance was testosterone, a male hormone. It's an
honest mistake, though. French men have never seen
testosterone before, so they were naturally a bit
skeptical.

Seriously, though, I'm growing tired of the French
bitching about losing their bike race. The truth of the
matter is, as long as Americans are allowed in the race,
they will continue to beat the French.

And it's not that hard. For six years, a cancer patient
dominated the bike race. Now, a modest mennonite with a
hip so bad that he walks with a cane has taken the prize.
Basically, we've had handicapped people dominating the
French for most of a decade.

On their best day, the French can't beat a handicapped
American. That just goes to show that we Americans kick
ass.

On a related note, the first German rider ever has entered
himself into next year's race. Rather than offering any
resistance, the French government just decided to give him
the title....


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