ShadowDawn

aRegretfulSerenity
2006-07-24 18:30:07 (UTC)

go bigger, or die tryin'

so yea. field training was exactly how i described it last time.

only more so.

picture everything i said times 10. yea. tough. REALLY
tough. but i pulled it off. quite nicely too. finished in
the top 20% as Superior Performer. really high award.
completely wasn't expecting that, at all. i felt like i was
barely surviving.
first week, they put me and flight D&C officer. um yea.
dont know air force drill. never got to see a little D&C
booklet that appearantly every other detachment got. so im
getting screamed at for every little mistake my flight
makes. someone doesnt swing their arms enough. "CADET WOOD!"
someone doesn't salute right. "CADET WOOD!" people dont roll
their feet. "CADET WOOD!" i am so sick of my name right now.
oh but it doesnt stop there. this goes on for a week. then
we switch poitions. this rotation i dont have a position.
break time, right? ha! "break" isnt in their vocab. there
wasnt any of this "hurry up and wait" BS you hear from the
army cadets. its "hurry up and keep going!" they only time i
had to even READ my letters was 0200 in the bathroom stall,
smuggling them in under my bra. i got maybe two letters out
the entire time i was there. we did have a tad bit of free
time on sundays... which was inevitably spent ironing
uniforms and shining shoes. so in actuality, it wasnt really
free time.
oh and superman drills? holy shit. Blues to BDUs, keeping
our uniforms AND rooms in perfect inspection order in four
minutes. did i mention that the BDUs have to have every
button undone when displayed in the locker? which means you
have to button every one when you put it on. and you still
only get 4 minutes. and that was them being generous! they
wanted us doing it in 3.
the worst part though, is when they decided to make me
squadron commander for the last week... just in time for
FLX. joy. i get to be in command of the entirety of squadron
1 (50 cadets) for the three days spend in the woods under
combat conditions.
holy crap.
the most hectic, stressful, and demanding thing i've done.
but it was also the best. i actually loved my job. at least
for those three days. i cant even begin to describe those
three days. literally. its classified. we cant talk about
the details of FLX. but i can tell you it was awesome. and
squadron 1 rocked the place. we were the only squadron to
ever get anything right, and on time. we also did everyone
elses jobs bc they all failed at theirs. i was very proud of
my troops for those three days.
coming back, though, i didnt like my job so much. i
thought i got screamed at for D&C? oh hell naw. last week is
hell on earth for squadron commanders. i cant even remember
how many 341s i got. one time i got 3 within 60 seconds.
just standing there. something like, i marched my squadron
to chow a few minutes too early, i didn't cover down after
calling halt, and some other BS charge i cant think of.
oh yea, and if alpha flight and bravo flight didnt have
exactly matching whatevers id take the blame for not having
my squadron standardized. i got a lot of flak because the
two flights' bulletin boards werent identical. if one flight
was late, id get yelled at. if the flights were marching
separatly, it didnt matter why i told them to do it, theyd
call me out on "abdication of duties," a very serious
offense. didn't matter that the flights werent even going to
the same place. and of course, being squadron 1, we had to
be the first ones to and from every event, like reveille and
retreat. do you know how long it takes to get two flights
formed up, with all their gear and ready to step off? a few
minutes. well i didnt have a few minutes. i had a few
seconds. i dont think my blood pressure's ever been that
high before in my life.
but appearantly i did something right if they thought i
deserved SP. i felt really good about that. after a month of
being trained to believe i am a complete failure, it was
nice to know that i wasn't.
there is definately a noticable difference about me, now
that im back. aside from folding every piece of clothing i
own, even socks and underware, i am so much more proactive.
i came home and immediately started looking into that
airsoft job, i got in contact with GB and im starting on
several special projects for the corps, things like helping
S-2 and recruiting, i wake up at 0530 everyday just to run
now, and i finally have things in perspective. i know my
priorities now, and they aren't in the social ladder. the
mission is what's important, not the BS drama the corps
focuses on. you'll never get things done with that in the
way. ive learned to say fuck you to everyone who prayed for
my failure and move on to be the best person i could be to
myself. i have nothing left to prove to anyone else.
and on top of that, i am so pumped up for the air force.
even if i dont get a pilot's slot, i'll be going into
security forces and do all the fun infantry shit, like
airbourne rangers. yes, the air force has airbourne rangers.
we have a lot of things youve never bothered to learn about.
so either i kill shit from the sweet ride of the F-22, or i
kill shit with a fireteam, busting down hideouts behind
enemy lines.
either way, i win.

and just to think... in two years, i'll be commissioning
as an officer in the most lethal force in the history of the
world:

the United States Air Force.


you can't go bigger than that.





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