Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-07-22 01:35:31 (UTC)

Conspiracy Theory

I am generally skeptical of any and all conspiracy
theories. This is due to common sense, which tells me that
if there were thousands of government officials covering
up some massive, shocking secret, a cult leader militiaman
with a cabin in Wisconsin and his own internet blog is not
likely to be the whistle blower on the entire operation.

This being said, there is a certain conspiracy which I do
believe in.

If you have ever tried to buy birth control devices
(condoms, etc.) in a drug or grocery store, you know how
expensive they are. Usually, we're talking in upwards of
$13 per box.

However, if you should happen to locate the same products
on the shelves of your local WalMart, you will notice an
insane price difference. Expensive products are usually
under $4 at WalMart.

Now, I realize that Walmart is the home of very low
prices. However, this difference is seemingly
unexplainable. That's where the conspiracy part comes

I believe that the US Government is secretly deciding
which Americans should be allowed to reproduce. If you
think about the common WalMart patron (bass fishing,
sister-loving types), the conspiracy becomes even more

The shocking truth is that the government doesn't want
WalMart patrons to reproduce. Obviously, they would be a
drain on both bass ponds and welfare offices across the

That is also the only explanation for the continued
existence of WalMart, despite their sometimes questionable
business practices. WalMart and the government are
providing cheap birth control in order to curb redneck
reproduction. It may seem shocking, but it's the only
logical explanaton.

So, there it is. The only conspiracy theory that I believe
in. That's probably because I discovered it.
At my cabin.
In Wisconsin.
During a Cult meeting.