Violet

Allegations And The Things Left Behind.
2006-07-17 05:22:20 (UTC)

Through Glass

The fabulous Miss Emma just left. Something about that kid just brightens everyone's day. I needed a boost. The weekend was pretty tolerable up until today. Did the whole bonding thing with my mother. At first it was just because i felt like i had to, Alex left for field training and as usual Rich bolted for the weekend. So she would have been home alone all weekend had i not stayed.

The guilt i feel when she is home alone is surreal. So i ditch my plans and make it all about her. Anything to keep her from focusing on all the bullshit. In reality though, I do definetly enjoy spending time with my mother, we get along wonderfully.

We went shopping Friday night.. actually talked her into buying herself some clothes. Once i got her started it was hard to get her to stop. She looked great in them all and it was nice to see her smile again. Saturday was general chaos.. her cleaning everything in site until i distracted her with a mission. We headed up to Bloomington to hunt down an old gaming system. Found one but had to wait an hour for the guy to get off work so he could go home and get it. We spent the hour observing people and making up stories about their behavior.

I think she finally gets why i find people watching so amusing. Anyhow we came home, starting playing.. popped open a bottle of whine and tossed some steaks on the grill. Sounds lame, but she really enjoyed herself and everyone knows i'm easy to amuse.

Today sucked some serious ass though. She broke down, totally. Spent several hours sitting alone at Josh's grave... came home and only got worse. I finally had to sit her down and calm her down so she could get some sleep. She passed out on the couch. I left her there. She just seemed more at ease sleeping in a room that wasn't totally quiet.

Emma and Katie showed up around 10. Of course Emma woke my mother up..and again i got to see my mother smile. Emma even tucked my mother back in, kissed her forehead and sang her a song. That kid is just good for her.

Carri has been nothing but shady all weekend long. She's getting totally wrapped up in online dating sites. She even put up her profile on myspace... stating she is single. She's a total attention whore. Needs male attention to validate who she is. She gets very competative about it too.

Eric called her cell phone saturday and wanted to know where i was at... this sent her raging. Telling Eric that i wouldn't be interesting in hanging out with him and that the only way i'd come stay at his place and hang is if she came with me. She then called me and started trying to tear me down. Bitching about the clothes i wear, how she's not that much bigger than me, how she's prettier... smarter and so on.

I just nod and smile.. because honestly.. I don't give a fuck. If she needs to tear me down to feel better about herself then go for it. I don't think much of myself.. but i'm sure as fuck not going to let her issues bother me. I know it's bullshit. She's got an ego that constantly needs feed. I'm not in the business of doing that.

The girl is fucked up and her drama is really starting to annoy me. I know she's been there for me during hard shit... actually scratch that.. only once has she been there. When Josh died.. and even then it was almost totally about how it made her feel. So why the fuck do i keep her in my life?

Is it horribly noticeable that my mind is flustered?

Insert embarrassed looking face here.

I need drama free me time. So i'm going to get it. This saturday i'm going to finally break down and go get my first tat.. and not a damn person is going with me.. despite the requests. Then i'm taking my happy ass up to Indy to hang out with Eric for a few days.

Then it's back to reality.

Insert mumbling here.

I'm fucking telling ya, I need laughter if i'm going to survive everyone's break downs.

Only one person in the life jacket at a time please.


Thank you.


SCHWACK!!!!




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