2006-07-10 19:55:56 (UTC)

im so crazy about him

I'm worried about my feelings for this guy lmfao. I don't
know what the attraction is but I am compelled. Even so
when I've realized his humanity and I don't even know wtf
he's talking about alot of the time. I think that's how he
is. He won't disclose too much just do what he does.I can
see why they think he is 'crazy' I do. Maybe that is what
I really like about him. The idea that he really is
mental. He would like my poetry my poetry is completely
fucked up I guess deformed and very odd but that's just
his bag. Well for me I have very odd dreams that I
sometimes make into poems I feel inspiration coming on.
Whenever someone has the ability to inspire me I know they
must be special. Not once did I try to change him into
something else I belive beacues he has kept me
entertained. If I said I am turning into a stalker that
wouldn't be accurate because I always have been. I've
always been intense and the last guy I wrote to
signing 'Your biggest fan' wasn't that excited about it.
Maybe it was just the wrong guy. Maybe I needed someone
who was all consuming like him. I think I just need a
cause a distraction inspiration from someone so that I can
feel justified in being with them. Love wears thin
understanding is forever. Where do I get the motivation
for wanting to look gorgeous. It doesn't come from one day
getting a guy who is great or rich although I wish that.
It comes from already finding someone so inspiring that he
is all I think about so I have a reason to be gorgeous.
Usually I neglect myself I don't really care what people
think of me. So I'm not the hottest person. There is
nobody I know that I wanted to get. But now there is. Now
I want to look like a stripper I mean he brings out the
intense feelings so because he can inspire me I can be an
inspiration to look at I mean. I am everything else that
is what is usually neglected the most.
At the same time I never really know much about his past
and what he likes or does't like so I'm worried about
doing the wrong thing. But nevertheless what will be
willbe. I always end up letting him know whats on my mind.
It isn't within my nature to lie for too long and pretend