Nick's Journal
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2006-07-08 21:13:03 (UTC)

I am the manager!

doubtlessly, you have seen the dave chappelle sketch where
he spoofs a training video for a copying store (sorta like
fedexkinko's). well at one point in the sketch he tells his
employees, "if someone asks for the manager, tell them, you
are the manager!".
now i'm sure also that you've read enough about how i am
convinced that latinos and blacks don't mix. i swear that
is the worst racial tension ever; especially if it's at
chipotle! the other day i'm in line with some co-workers at
chipotle and i have this black woman in front of me. she
orders a chicken burrito but right as the lady was about to
put chicken on her burrito, she screetches!
"hold on! hold on right there! is that fresh?"
she got the usual blank stare you get from an employee at
chipotle if you don't speak spanish.
"i'm just gonna wait for some fresh chicken!"
now granted, it was pretty low in the bucket, but come on!
so i was next in line and i was getting my usual barbaco
burrito, well they put the meat on mine and i deftly stept
around the fuming black woman, when i got another,
"hold on! what you just gonna let him step around me? i'm
not done with my order yet!"
i settled down on the other side and started my order
figuring i'd let the crisis managers at chipotle handle this
"oh okay, look, how long does it take to get some damn
chicken round here?"
i looked over her gargantuan frame at my other poor (timid)
co-workers, they hadn't fucking ordered yet! god damn it!
so they finally got her so damn chicken, by now she was
pissed and being a cunt.
"i want more tomatoes, just a little more, okay, whoa!
okay! i said okay!"
then came the kicker, the sour cream,
"gimme some sour cream!"
at this point it helps to point out that she was at who we
like to call ms. surly. she is the surliest latino lady i
have ever seen, she has that mean blue eyeliner on and she's
always glowering, she put a tiny dab of sour cream on,
"i want more than that!"
at this she put a HUGE glob on. seriously, it was like a
mountian of sour cream, then she quickly packed it up NOT
the line.
"what da!? what? i ain't finished! that's it, who your
manager i want to talk to your manager!"
"i em de manager"
"you! oh, that's it i want to talk to you."
"you will have to wait, i am busy."
okay, i fucking fled. i seriously thought we were all
fucking dead. instead the lady stormed out and the burrito
went into the trash.
wow. ms. surly has some fucking tits (i can't say balls), i
mean some big fucking tits to say that to someone so irate.
and you know what? she was fucking singing to my coworkers
at that point.
okay, who in gods name would go see little man? that
fucking movie with two of the wayans brothers (aren't they
all dead by now?). not only is it fucking creepy looking,
but god damn it! it is so fucking stupid, i mean i can let
a lot of stupid movies slide, i mean shit i love a lot of
them (any martin lawrence movie comes to mind, shit i liked
black fucking knight!). but this one is beyond all shit,
and i want to know who goes to see this?
do people see it with their kids? who the fuck sees this
shit? who pays the astronomical price of $9 to see this
shit? who?
it pisses me off that all of that money was blown for that
shit, and then people blow money to pay for that shit!
ugh, i think that all the wayans brothers should be rounded
up, and after their fortunes have been evenly disperesd
amongst the needy, put in a cinema and get some clockwork
orange treatment. having to sit through little man for the
rest of their lives.
fuck them.

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