Hanging with Jesus
i'm not a religious man by any means, but i hvae to say that
i am quite down with jesus christ. i mean whether or not
you believe him to be the son of god, you really can't
dispute that he seemed to be an all around genuinely nice guy.
i mean come on. he was crazy peaceful, kind to everybody,
always healing people, and always keeping it real.
my only problem with all of this is that it seems like he
wouldn't really be a cool friend (at least not for me).
i mean i can only imagine what it's like.
you know you meet him at some hippie club at your college
when you have nothing to do no a wednesday night. he's
kinda weird and doesn't shave much, but he's got a pretty
cool view on the way the world should be. so you decide to
chill on a friday.
so there you are in your dorm room with your roommate
crackin' open some brew-has and about to smoke a j. there
comes a knock and you say,
"oh, hey guys, i'm hope it's cool, but i just invited this
dude, over...i think his last name is jesus."
so jesus comes in kind of shy and all and then sits indian
style in the corner of the room. he's quiet and polite and
somewhat awkward. the beer starts to hit him after a whle
and he starts to open up. after a while he's doing bong
hits and starts telling you he's the son of god.
then you see him at a party a month later. it's really
awkward since you've been avoiding him since "that incident"
in your dorm room. but he's completely oblivious, all nice
to you and seemingly really happy to have someone to talk to
at the party (he's not much of a party-goer).
so you figure you'd give him a second chance. after a few
more beers he's trying to get you to do this thing called
"praying", which basically means you worship his father.
you tell him,
"jesus, dude, dude. chill out man. stop trying so hard.
you know i mean you can't save everyone....you know, think
locally act globa--no wait, hold on a sec, jesus i'm drunk!"
jesus starts chillin' out a bit after this. even starts
joking around and runs through a puddle,
"look, nick, i'm walking on water!"
you shake your head.
then he randomly shows up at one of your parties. you
awkwardly saunter up to him as he was obviously not invited.
"hey, dude, I tell you bout this," you say guiltily,
"oh yeah, yeah, it's cool. hey man, you um, you wanna do
some beer pong?"
it's all good and shit throughout the night then he gets a
bit tipsy and his posse shows up. they're all kinda weird
and are into worshipping jesus's father. you let them do
their thing in the corner, and then the party is dying down,
you're munching some cheetos and watching wonder showzen.
jesus is starting to clean up already (he's really a good guy).
"hey man, you don't have to clean up, leave that shit for
"oh you know, i just like helping out i guess...."
"hey, you mind if i grab that box of un-opened gold fish there?"
"that one? the pounder?"
"yeah, you know i was going to give it to some homeless people."
"yeah, i guess....i mean yeah, sure. knock yourself out."
"cool, god bless you."
"yeah, no prob."
i don't know it just seems like he'd be cool and all but
kind of strange. like always making you feel a bit guilty
about not helping people all the time.