Ben

Stuff
2006-06-20 15:45:28 (UTC)

Regret

In this life all I have ever wanted was someone I could
love, someone I could trust and someone I truly believe
in. I'm not looking for just a person, im looking for the
person. Its not as if I can have a High School
romance... Seeing as I am no longer in high school.

I wonder what I will be doing this time next year... Will
I have joined the navy? Will I have found someone? Will
I have a job? What will have happand in this next year?
This year more then any other is a year that I can't just
let blow by..

Last night I layed there wide awake. I thought about
everything that has happand so far in my life. The way
that Sara slept around... The way she just flat out and
said I could no longer talk to her. Now, I got over her
cheating awhile ago. I got over everything she ever did
to me- its just made me more weary, but nonetheless, I got
over it. The part that I cant get over is that I cant
talk to her. I mean, I grew up with her and she me. I
fucking knew everything about her. I knew what she was
thinking before she thought about it and she could do the
same thing to me. I told her everything. About my dad
and about my brothers... I told her where the bruises
really came from. In the end, I didn't care about a
relationship because to me, she was more of a sister then
a girlfriend.

Before her, I was nothing and for the longest time after
her, I believed I was nothing. All I wanted was a
friend. She tought me four or five life lessons. Trust
and friendship, love, pain and misery. She made my life
worth it. Well.... Today I end it. I end the silence
between me and her.

I'm sick of having my feelings twisted and torn and today
is the begining of a new era in my life. It may seem like
all the other days, but I live with no regrets.
Everything seemed bigger, brighter and a hell of a lot
more fun. This is my last tribute to someone whom I
should have let go a year ago. Someone who should never
have stayed and stained me so deeply.

It is better to live life full throttle then to live life
with regret. From now on, I live with no regrets.


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