jen

Too Much to Say
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2006-06-20 02:41:36 (UTC)

love

i just finished reading velvet elvis. one of rob bell's
final points was that we need to stop having an agenda
behind loving people. for some reason that was just so
revelational to me. i mean, i don't think i ever conciously
had an agenda when loving others, but after reading that i
realized that almost all of us do. we mostly only love
non-believers in hopes of turning them to the christian
faith. i never thought of that before, but it's really
true. we only help people when we know we can bring them to
god. but rob says that that's not what we're called to do.
we're called to love people unconditionally and without
agenda. just love them because that's what we're supposed
to do. not because they might get saved. love
people--because loving people is the best way to live your
life.

i think this is why we often forget to love those closest to
us. loving your family doesn't feel like a world-changing
mission. no one will see that as a heroic victory...it's
just your family. and yet, that is where the love should
start and flow from. if we can't love those people first,
than the love we give to the rest of the world isn't really
real anyways.

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last night at the attic davie preached an awesome message.
he's hardly spoke out there this summer--and yet he's the
best one. anyways, his message was just so inspiring. you
always know you're listening to a great speaker when you can
come away with something that really doesn't even apply to
their message. well, what i started thinking about during
the service was how much i want God to take away all my
character flaws and fill me with his amazing qualities. for
example, i wanted to just throw off all my pride and
judgement and any self-righteousness i may have, and
selfishness. it felt like scraping off all the mud on me
and letting God fill me with his holy characteristics. self
discipline, love, humility...etc. i just wanted to get all
the junk off of me so that there was room for God to move
in. it's like, i keep trying to make my personality more
like God's (which would be me doing it by myself, with my
own strength) rather than letting God just take me and mold
me and fill me. i had to realize that I can't make MYSELF
"good." only God can restore us--we can not restore
ourselves. and in a way, it seems so much easier this way.
it takes a load off of me.

i have to constantly let go of ME, MY, and MINE.


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