jmille02

The Other One I can Talk Too
2006-06-15 16:16:15 (UTC)

Decisions


Man this is a pickle. I am soon going to be faced with
a decisions. On one hand I have my dad and little brothers
in NC, on the other I have raise of $50K in Miami.

I know damn well that if I try to talk to my dad about
it, its going to turn into a yelling match over the phone in
less than 2 seconds flat. Hopefully I find out today or
tomorrow what they are going to offer me so I can finally
decide. If they offer anything less than $50K, I really do
not think that I will be staying. But just the mention of
this to my dad and he will fucking flip. He won't even be
happpy that they would offer me anything, he will just be
pissed that I would consider not moving to NC yet.
I still have other things going on in my life that keep
weighing in on my mind. I seem to be a bit too much of my
benefits girl. No matter what I do, she always gets hurt.
Not just emotionally, but physically. I know she always
liked me and wants so much more from me. Which I already
spoke with her on many occasions that I will not be able to
give her anything more, not that I cannot feel anything... I
just do not see her in that capacity. As for physically
hurting her, she is frail enough as it is. She might be
patite but I sure as hell am not. I am not calling myself
fat, just big below the belt. Now she had to go to the
doctor, and now has another test on Friday to go to.

... well, I just caught her on AIM and all she is telling me
is that she has not been feeling well and that she has
another doc's appointment tomorrow where she will get more
answers. Not the first time this has happened, but it will
be the last. I am going to break it off with her once I know
she is ok. Not doing it to be mean, but because I don't want
to keep being the reason she is always feeling like crap.

Guess I will be writing here a little more than I have
been.

Much fun.....




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