Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-06-12 02:56:15 (UTC)

Dirty Talk

First off, you should know that this entry is not an
assortment of dirty jokes, but rather a rant about them.
So, you perverts looking for new material can stop reading

I am not a huge fan of dirty jokes: they make me
uncomfortable. It's not because i'm shy about the
material, but rather because dirty jokes bring about a
level of familiarity which I would rather not share with
most people.

If I have known you less than 2 years, I really don't care
what the pilot said to the stewardess in the 'cock pit'. I
don't wish to know that you once called out your third
grade teacher's name during intercourse.

Most of all, I don't really want to know what you would do
to our waitress if you were thirty years younger, equipped
with handcuffs, whipped cream, and a tomato.

I would also like to point out another critical fact about
dirty jokes: there should most definitely be an age limit
for telling them.

When you're 25, it's pretty funny when you joke around
with the guys once in a while. When you're 58, married,
and have two kids in college, dirty jokes go from mildly
entertaining to gross, creepy, and weird.

I know that you've been married for 28 years and haven't
had sex for 30, but that doesn't mean it's open season on
dirty jokes. For the love of god, please shut the hell up
and spare us.

So, what have we learned today? First, if you have any
doubts about how well we know each other, please keep your
sexual comments to yourself. Chances are good that I don't
like you enough to care.

Secondly, if you're old enough to remember when you could
purchase a new record, please lay off the dirty comments.
Your laughs are better saved for the time when you're
standing naked in front of the mirror.