2006-06-05 15:44:27 (UTC)

A little scared...

I decided not to go to my doctor for the pill. That would
take too long, and I might bump into my mom who has been
visiting alot recntly. So that means it's off to planned
parenthood. I'm a little scared. Mostly because I've never
done this before, and don't know what to expect. I want to
go today and get it over with, but I think I might need to
make an appointment first, and we'll see how that goes,
besides, I need to bus it there.

Aside from that is the cost. I don't want the insurance to
cover it if it can be traced back by my mom somehow.
Although the other way around it will cost atleast 70
bucks for the visit and the first months pills. I also
need to inquire about checking for whatever it is they
check for in regards to aids. That's a trip for the both
of us though.

But on to real bright news... He loves me, he loves me so
much. Last night was officially two months, and I
suggested we go on a picnic. The weather was beautiful. I
put on a long skirt, and a halter, put together a basket
and grabbed a blanket. He... That WONDERFUL guy, gave me a
bouquet of red roses. I put them in some water and came
back to him.

We sat, ate, talked, and kissed a little. Found a
caterpillar that was amazingly cute. Then I forced him to
go for a walk in the woods with me. He was complaining
only 1/2 the way.

We dropped the food off at my house, and perceded to go
bowling, after hearing an hour and a half wait, we said
screw it and went to his place. He said that I'm finally
ready to watch this one movie with him. So we watched the
Notebook. It was beautiful. But before the movie we did
get a little carried away. We grinded and went down on
each other a little. When I gave him an orgasm that last
time, while touching the million dollar spot he didn't
even come really. He lasted longer too, and it felt that
good for a longer period of time. I'm glad he didn't stay
down on me for too long cause I don't like holding back my

After the movie we went at it again, and he wanted me to
make him orgasm when I'm on top of him. He did, but there
wasn't that much that came off into his pijamas. Good
thing too. At one point, maybe when he was having an
orgasm, he and I both said I love you at the same time. We
both smiled and kissed. We layed in the darkness in each
others arms. Both felt like we already had sex.
Emotionally, we got to that level, so were ready for the
real thing. As usual I didn't wanna leave him, and he
didn't want me to leave. He said that if he didn't have
work the next day, I could just spend the night. Because
of my parents, I don't know if I ever would.

I'm starting to be more honest with them. They still give
me their opinion about stuff but it really doesn't matter
anymore. Mostly because I'll move out soon, and it ain't
gonna matter even more. I'll be my own woman.

P.S. Not only did he tell me before that in regards to
sex, I made him feel better in the past 3 weeks then he
felt in the whole time that he was with his last. (That
was like 2 years of weekly sex the girl is obviously bad
at it)... But now he tells me that emotionally too,
everything he feels now is more then his past relationship
combined. That reconfirmed so much love. I truly know that
he's mine. Those are the biggest compliments I have ever
gotten. I love him