Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-06-04 02:46:42 (UTC)

Gasoline

Some dude on the TV the other day was talking about how we
only invaded Iraq so that we could steal their oil.

To this, I reply, "look at the price of gas posted at the
station on the corner, you ignorant peace-loving bastard.
If we were stealing gas, I would sure as hell hope that it
would be cheaper than 3 bucks a gallon."

Personally, I wish we were stealing the oil from Iraq. It
would make things a lot easier for all of us.

We wouldn't have to drill in Alaska, thereby destroying
our pristine northern mosquito habitat.

We could create jobs for people pumping gas into our
perpetually less efficient SUVs.

We could even sit back and laugh at other countries (like
Canada and Mexico) who have to pay for their gasoline.

I say, if we're going to fight an offensive war, we should
at least get something out of the deal. Our troops in
Vietnam got free heroin addictions. Why can't our Iraq
troops get us some free gas?

I'm tired of America being the only country that doesn't
get free stuff just for being a citizen. Canada gets free
healthcare. Mexico gets free tacos every tuesday afternoon
(seriously, I've been there for "Taco Tuesday").

It's time the government stepped in to fill my tank. I'm
cheap, I'm angry, I'm bitter, and I'm proud to be an
American!



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