Amnesia

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2006-05-29 18:22:18 (UTC)

He has flaws...

Chris and I need to figure out something with this whole
relationship. He said it seems like he's doing the same
thing to me like I did to him a few days ago. I didn't
know he felt sufficated, I just wanted to spend some time
with him cause I knew I would be busy, and I know he will
complain about me putting work ahead of him if I dont give
him enough time. Also, sometimes I just really want to see
him. I guess that's exactly what he wants now. I told him
I'll call him back in half an hour.

Think he's being a bit irrational. He sais we never hang
anymore... I tell him... hun, we spent the whole day
together Saturday. It's Monday morning. He wanted me today
in a R type of way. I wasn't, and still am not feeling it.
Seems like the only thing I do now is hang with him,
certain friends even less, and work. I don't feel that I
have time for myself anymore. I need time for myself.
That's what I want to do today. For atleast the beginning
of the day. Not too much, cause then I'd want to hang with
him, and I can't stay out too laate, gotta work at 8 a.m.

I did enjoy that sleep though. Dreamed of Chris a
substantial amount. Strange. That never happens.

I've got a craving to do something more educational. Like
walking in a museum of history, and checking out the
stories. Maybe going to woodfield, I gotta pic something
up. I noticed that Chris and I don't connect on a deeper
level anymore. I guess we did, or we do on certain points,
but I'd love to have a deep conversation with him about
art, or history, where neither he nor I would say that
that's just the way it is, or not budge to think of the
other persons point of view on it.

Today I wanted to get some time to think. I've got cash
now. I need to pay off my bills. I'm already capable of
paying off my best buy bill, but I'd be completely broke
then. Next pay check, it should all be done. Then just
chargebacks, and school... and then I can think of some
things for myself.

I hate how Chris insists on my shopping. Makes me not want
to do it at all. I told him I'll give him a call in half
an hour, and it's up by now. I think going to woodfield
would be good if it's open. He's been wanting to go.
There's also the whole barbacue thing at my house, but
that might be akward. Then, I would love to see X-men.
It's really hot outside, so I think x men would do us good
to start off with.


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