Violet

Allegations And The Things Left Behind.
2006-05-23 04:52:20 (UTC)

And god said ..... So shall it suck.

I hate the weather, but i love this time of year. I'm
constantly on the move.. running face first into my latest
little adventure.

Had one hell of a night out on Carri's birthday. Woke up
to Steve playing his bass and the reassureance that
nothing had happened. Granted i had already known that..
but it was nice for him to point it out. Birthdays are the
only days i drink now and even then i don't make it a
habit to drink in excess. The whole hard core party scene
just isn't a scene i want part of anymore i guess.

Carri and I have been making a lot of trips to Indy
lately. It's where her new boyfriend is staying for awhile
(V.O.A.). I spent several hours Friday afternoon just
reading in the World War memorial park. It was really
nice. Big city.. little amusements. We're heading back up
as soon as the month is over. Going to spend a few days
just doing dumb shit... going to the zoo, the children's
museum..etc.

Jeremy (carri's new boyfriend) wants a three some for his
birthday and he'd like me to be the addition. Oddly enough
i'm the only one opposed to the idea. Carri seems a little
intimidated by the idea as says she's totally okay with it
as long as Jeremy doesn't "fuck me". Always a lovely thing
to hear if you ask me. She says the reason she likes
Jeremy so much is because he's like the male version of
me. I'm not quite sure how i should take that.. but if
Carri were a dyke.. i'd be running scared. Half tempted to
at times as is. These two are bound to have an interesting
relationship.. that i'll have no part of.

I've started hanging out with Steve again since i ran
into at Olde Downtown on Carri's birthday. We got all that
past drama cleared up.. turns out it was fucking Sean who
was talking all the shit. All say he's just mad because i
know he fooled around on Nat.. and because i won't sleep
with him.
yuck
yuck
yuck

Anyhow. Steve totally jumped his ass the other night. Sean
was running around telling everybody that me and steve
fucked on Carri's birthday and yada yada. Granted i don't
much care who people think i fucked.. but i was under the
impression that it was steve who was spreading such lies.
I hate to say it.. but steve is turning out not to be such
a douche bag. We went and chilled at his apartment
Saturday night and were total dorks. He pulled out his
photo albums and i was shocked to see pictures of him as a
total odd ass. Hanging out with his fellow band mates..
sporting a purple mohawk.. etc. I guess i forget that he's
10 years older than me at times.. so he's had a chance to
grow out of that phase. It was cool though. We got along
really well and were totally comfortable with each other.
He only made a move on me once the whole night. He wasn't
even shitty when i shot him down. The boy can kiss like
it's nobody's business.. so it was actually a little
tempting.. you know getting all caught up in the moment
and what not. But i stuck to my guns, so to speak.

He said he respects my decision to wait for something
real.. all while hating it at the same time. We both know
it's not going to be like that between he and I. A fact
that may kill my mother (god knows she's already attached
to him and they haven't even met). She says he sounds like
the type of guy i need in my life. Laid back, more
intelligent, funny, responsible, a bit of a clean freak,
dorky, and independant.

She's probably right. He's just not the one though.

Carri has bolted to Indy without so much as a could you
please watch the kids. She just left me here with them.
She called hours ago and was suppose to let me know what's
up.. if she's coming home tonight or whatever. She
didn't.. she hasn't.. she won't. So you know what.. i'm a
little pissed. I like kids and all... but i don't have any
FOR A GOD DAMN REASON! The baby is fighting sleep and
teething like a mad man, Hayden has been a total spazz all
day.. flipping out and destroying shit.. and Hailey is
acting like a snotty teen. Love the kids.. but just not in
the mood for them right now.

Half tempted to say that i understand why people leave
their kids on church door steps. BECAUSE THEY NEED A
FUCKING SMOKE BREAK! It's been hours since my last smoke
and it's not by choice.

Some guy is showing up to work on Carri's other car at
6:30 in the fucking morning.. so i have to be up at the
ass crack of dawn yet the baby is keeping me up all night.
Have to get Hailey off to school while Hayden is being
allowed to ditch. Nice thing to teach a 7 year old.. no
wonder the kid isn't making it into the first grade..
again.

*looks around*

I must be getting pissy. So i have two choices.. go with
it and tear Carri a new asshole when she finally calls..
or go smoke a cig and try to ignore the whole situation.

Damn the higher road.. it pulls me in no matter how much
I fight it.

Dane, ya silly fuck.. you lied! Oh and eat something
would ya.. you're getting fucking tiny. You and Monica are
all kinds of fucking cute in those pictures.

Yeah i know you don't give a fuck.. but deal.


SHWACK!!!





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