Wow, it's been awhile...
Alot has happened since then.
I finally did lose my virginity...for real this time. I'm
not sure which time counted. Josh counts the very first
time we attempted to (when he penetrated me). Anyways, he
dumped me on March 8th (yea, like 7 days after he took my
virginity) because he cheated on me (but dont worry, I was
his first!). He had sex with another girl 3 days or so
after we did it. Her name is Brit. We're friends now,
believe it or not. Me and Josh are back together too. We
got back together March 19th. Because he missed me so bad,
and admitted that it was a big mistake dumping me. He told
me about Britney a week or two after we got back together.
I had a really terrible time dealing with it. I ended up
talking to Britney, and she regretted it. It was a one
night stand, mistake, kinda deal. And Josh hates the way it
hurt me so much. It took awhile to gain trust back. But
now I've accepted it, and dealt with the fact that he had
sex with someone else.
Me and Josh recently started having sex again a week and a
half ago. REAL sex though. Like long enough to count. And
we did it once on my bed. I started birth control this
month. My mom found out about me and Josh being intimate,
and she doesnt approve. I finally got her to take me to
Planned Parenthood and get some birth control pills.
Speaking of, I really need to go back there and get more
condoms. Anyways, sex is pretty good. It hurt like a
motherfucker the first couple times. He fucked me from
behind the first couple times. Then 2 days ago, I decided
to be brave and go on top. I thought it would hurt really
bad, but it was actually fine. I like fucking him. We did
it 4 times on Sunday!, lol, I'm sucha whore.
The one thing that is bothering me, is my fear of giving
oral. I don't know how. Plus I'll never measure up to the
head Josh got during his one night stand. Which apparently
was good. Lol. GO BRIT! I'm pretty good humored about it
now. Oh and another reason I can't give Josh head yet is
because I've been getting cold sore after cold sore...I went
to the doctor yesterday and she put me on pills for a month
to help with them. Right now I've been out of school for 2
days, and I'm staying home tommorow. This is the worst cold
sore that I have ever had! My whole lip is swollen, and
crusty, and has no skin. Its sick! I miss kissing! And
sleeping. Its so painful that I cant sleep, and it hurts to
So, theres the scoop. I don't think I missed anything.
This is so becoming my sex journal. Haha, let the good