alone and adored
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2006-04-28 03:23:14 (UTC)

well, well, well

well, well, well... my birthday turned out to be a bust...
who knew.... I fucking knew. so after Marina (and thus her
boyfriend) bailed on me, Alex and friend simply failed to
show up at the theatre and then the only person I ended up
going to the movies with bailed after the movie claiming
fatigue. so just as we're debating wether or not to go
home (a.k.a. trying to get her to admit she doesn't wanna
go downtown- cuz going dt with people who don't wanna be
there is a bust in which case Id rather go home anyway),
Krista calls me from the bus that goes downtown wondering
where the hell I am...I explain and she offers to hold up
the bus so I can book it to the next stop but I say no
thanks (when I really should have ditched sleeper and took
off running to catch up) so Sleeper and I call a cab even
though I'm about ready to cry because my 19th birthday
party is ruined.

It wouldn't have done anybody any good for me to have told
Shannon she's a fucking asshole, to suck it up because
I'm her friend and that if she was so god damn tired maybe
she should have mentioned that before I had to spend money
on a movie and a cab. So I shut my mouth (as usual) and
did what my father taught me to do and that is "Dont burn
your bridges" so I pretended to be nice all the way home.
So when Shannon says "well you didnt seem that upset" I'll
say "what you saw and what I felt were very different and
what you did was just as bad as alex not even showing up-
thanks for sticking me with the cab fair. bitch." Except
thats not really how I feel for some reason... I'm more
just sad that I have really shitty friends who won't even
fake being into my birthday party. So here's to everyone
that bailed on me tonight.... fuck you, you mostly just
confirmed my diagnosis of the whole human race, save for a
few hotties, as complete cock smokers. I donno what to do
about Shannon.... I have to drive into school with her
everyday. fuck fuck fuck. Alex, I couldn't give a shit if
I never see again. itll go something like this... "yah Im
not really interested in your excuses. bye" Marina...
that's also a little tough...her excuse for missing
my "party" was amongst the lamest Ive ever heard. so yah
fuck her too. especially since he was a) totally stoked
like a month before hand b)took forever to get back to me
(sooooo rude) and c)of course that shit excuse.

So here I sit alone, cold, and with 6$ worth of these
little gems glued to the back of my hand cuz it looks
really bitchin totally gone to waste. I seriuosly...
seriuosly.... seriuosly... need new friends. Cuz the on'es
I have are shit... cept Krista. that was cool how she
handled tonight- it made me feel a lot better. so to
finally conclude... I knew this was going to happen in the
back of my mind, I have no friends and.. thats pretty mcuh
it... I really hope I don't remember this when Im 35...