slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
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2006-04-27 08:11:45 (UTC)

sub diary 26-04-06

greetings,

not that much happened around here. how much can happen in
a small room with a bed, cupboard, desk, dinette and not
much more. i do get lonley and the people here are younger
than me. most are working and come from families out of
town. they have their own circles they run in and my
friend i used to be close to here has transfered to another
town.

i went to visit one of my family today with only one main
thought in my mind...checking for emails or messages from
Master. like always He had left me a couple of emails and
i responded. He didnt have anything planned for after work
so that was good news. Wwe would be able to chat or with
some luck (fingers crossed) Wwe could talk. with the time
difference i worked out around midday. the atmosphere here
was a little cold. i think at times that they think i am
using them only for the computer. in a way that is right.
but a girl must do what a girl must do. i waited for
Master for a couple hours but no show. i then realised
that something else had come up. i then went to talk about
a few things with the my family member and i helped with a
few jobs. i checked in a few times to see if Master had
logged on.

Finally after a few hours i rang Master to check if He was
ok. i rang but now answer. then He called me back. this
will sound bad but in a way i was upset that He was fine.
this made me feel as if i was not important enough for Him
to let me know that His plans had changed. Wwe had phone
problems again. my kept dropping out on Him. i did manage
to hear that one of His friends had had some bad luck today
and that He had gone to them. He also ate with Him. this
gave me mixed feelings. i was happy that Master was there
for His friend but i was sad that He took me for granted.

this is a time i am really stressing. i need to know that
i am not far from His thoughts. i need His reassuarance
that i am important. i need His strength. the distance is a
killer i know and it wont be for much longer. i hate
feeling like i am feeling right now. i know i seem
selfish. others have feelings as well. others have
responsibilities. but i need my Master as much as i can
have Him right now. and unfortunately via chat is the best
Wwe have.

i had outstayed my welcome at my sisters. i know she loves
me but she gets very short with me when i come & sit on her
computer. she gets no sense out of me. and i feel her
husband might be saying something about me being here on
their computer. he rules this family. and what he says must
go. i will not do anything to make things between them
more difficult.

love
slave jess {MJ}


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