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2006-04-23 02:55:09 (UTC)

April 22nd

I got a broken heart but whats new. Jessa is just a good
friend.. But I supose everyone is. Its almost scary how
much she reminds me of Sara.. Its almost painful that she
reminds me of Sara... If she becomes Swanny, I swear to
god I couldent take that...

Im listening to Darkness ~ Twizted... Just making me more
and more sad. Emotions get in the fucking way when your
trying to smile... They grab and hurl me half way across
the globe. I dont want them... they only fucking hurt
me. They only fucking stab me in the stomach and put a
tac in my eye leaving me to suffer and bleed in grueling
pain so I could never be the same.. Its insane that I
tricked myself into this situation, manipulated myself
into this.

I wish I could just disapear and never come back.. Fly
away, forget about everyone and everything and start
over. I should get rid of them before they get rid of
me........I will never leave this house again. Ever.

But yeah... I decided to give this account name to
Jessa.. Im not sure if that was smart or dumb or what.
I've never done that before... Especially with shit like
this.. She's probably going to be reading this... But
yeah, if you are, none of this is your fault.... I dont
want you to feel sad because this is all me..

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