blkdragon

grounded
2006-04-09 05:25:30 (UTC)

Emotional Issues

4/8/06Didn’t sleep at all well, feels like my fingers swell
during the night. I stepped onto the porch this morning,
it’s barely 30 degrees outside, won’t be any running this
morning. The extra fluid in my swollen cells is the reason
Dana has worried about my being susceptible to frostbite, I
stepped outside to sweep the glass away from the building,
planning to do the inside of my car today and don’t need a
flat. By the time I was finished sweeping, my fingers were
killing me, too cold. When you’ve been out in the cold too
long and you get the pins and needles feeling, when even
the heat you try to warm them with hurts, then you
understand the frostbite potential.
1:36 pm Been in bed all day, feeling sore and
lackadaisical, called Toya this morning, today’s her
birthday; she’s apparently in town. She told me that Shawn
said he’d be by today, he needs someone to talk to, he
picked me; how lucky I am? I don’t expect to see him. I
turn on the pc, check my mail and find one from Shawn, he
sent his number and asked me to give him a call; that’s not
going to happen. He should still have my number and he
knows where I live.
It’s 31 degrees outside, thanks to the wind chill, I won’t
be heading out there to do anything with my car. My Tarot
for the day seems to relate to Patty, or does everything
(inadvertently ) relate to her? “A romantic, social or
domestic influence could try to lead you astray, or tempt
you into a triangle of gossip, secrets or difficulties. Try
not to let restlessness or past conflict, neglect, feeling
stuck in a rut, getting dumped,, being unwilling to commit,
or bored with your relationship cause you to give in to
wanton behaviors for the sake of immediate gratification,
or to avoid dealing with the situation. There could be a
confrontation, or the need to make a difficult choice or
decision, stemming from broken or unfulfilled promises, an
unexpected betrayal, illness, separation or other
relationship issue. It may have been a long time coming,
while the knowledge may be difficult to handle, you might
finally be ready to do something about it.
Horoscope: You’ve reached a tipping point. Things are
moving in a different direction. This is the day when you
begin to appreciate your home life all over again. Your
sense of being overwhelmed will disappear, and your relief
could cause an emotional release during a realization of
how good things really are.
I’m planning on doing a contrast bath, push-ups and finger
exercises, I need to buy some oil; can’t afford an oil
change right now. Don’t really want to see Shawn, he may
want to offer his assistance and I don’t accept help from
just anyone, he’s proven to be untrustworthy. Same reason I
wouldn’t accept Patty’s wish to pay my last car note,
didn’t feel she could be trusted, they’ve both proven my
instincts to be true.
7:52 pm Talked to Mike, he thought it was a bad idea for me
to call Donny, seems he’s considered the fact that Donny
may be crazy enough to try something with our Sister.
Joshua called me after that, we talked about the problem I
have with Shawn, how I don’t respect him as a man. Joshua
mentioned getting depressed because none of his Family is
able to support themselves, we’re all out of work; I told
him not to group me with his Mother and Brother. My reasons
for not working aren’t the same as theirs, he remembered
the accident from 10 years ago, I told him not to worry
about me; I’m ok and getting better. I’m not looking for,
nor am I waiting for hand-outs of any kind, the minute this
situation is resolved; I’ll get on with my life.
4/9/06- -1:07 am Shawn left here not too long ago, we got
our shit out in the open, he really came to see what he
could do to win Toya back, he won’t have to work too hard;
she still loves him. If he’s not careful the next time
around, she’ll probably kill him. She called him while he
was here (5 times), I think he earned points with her by
coming to see me, he was here for about 4 hours.
I’ve noticed that my home now has a musky smell, I’ll need
to open all the windows tomorrow morning and do some
aromatherapy. I’ve learned that Tina Dickow’s music may not
be available in this country, I’m more impressed with every
song I hear, especially the lyrical imagery; the musical
compositions will get you moving before you realize that
you’re moving.





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