becholi

Life as B
2006-04-06 06:40:10 (UTC)

Close of a chapter..day 1

Thursday April 6th 2006 - Today is the first day of my
life without Ivan Ho. After a more than 2 week lay off,
things seems to be official now. I'm hurting...a lot. I'm
sad, i miss him, i do wish he would change his mind, but
on the other hand, it may all be for the better.

I can't believe that at the end of the day, it was him who
called it off. I wanted to so many times, but i guess i
was just too weak and comfy wallowing in the miserable
relationship.

I do love him..still...despite all the hurt and anger and
dissapointment. I have been loving this man since the day
i set my eyes on him, and that feeling just won't go away
no matter how hard i'm trying now.

Every minute is hard to pass...i look at my phone and
expect him to call or message, i expect an IM message to
pop up from him...but then what?? I'm only gonne be
ignoring him. I need God more than ever now...i'm weak but
he is strong.




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