Nick's Journal
2006-04-05 01:38:50 (UTC)

I want a hand puppet

a while back i watched a show called "wonder showzen" by far
the most offensive and horrible show i have ever seen before
in my life (you have to watch it, it's on mtv2 at 9:30 on
fridays, or for free and on all the time through the internet!).
anyhow, during this horribly offensive show they have this
hand puppet which is blue with big eyes and named clarence
going around and annoying the shit out of people.
now at first i was shocked by the fact that they went to go
ask people in harlem what annoys them.
harlem people. harlem.
"what annoys you"
"when people mimick me"
"when people mimick me"
"stop that"
"stop that"
and so forth and so on, et. al.
so i want this hand puppet so i can finally let loose some
things i've wanted to say but that are horribly offensive
for a human to say but not a puppet.
the thing that always got me about this whole skit was that
they never talked to the person holding it!
what the fuck?
the possibilities are endless. imagine i took it into gold's
gym (actually i think that is more dangerous than harlem).
"why do you scream when you lift weights? is it because you
fear that your shrunken testicles may detach themselves from
your body?"
"why are you yelling at your wife, just because she can't
lift 30 lbs? is it because she fell down the stairs earlier
today? that is pretty annoying isn't it? work it bitch!"
"excuse me, but i believe you left these sleeves in your
car; you know because your shirt doesn't have any and you
look like a you go, let me tape these on."
the possibilities are endless and hilarious.

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