2006-04-03 10:00:37 (UTC)

So screw not working

I hate being out of the habit of that

Here are my following bills

Best Buy : 840 (rounded up)
Wright : 900
new semester : 1500 unless I'll go during summer
lets not count the semster thing
chargebacks : 600

This on top of my whatever I'm gonna have to pay for
the semester and the books crap.

Monthly bills include:

Phone : 65
Life insurance : 45
IRA : 30
(not too shabby compared to the top amount there)

There's still all this stuff I want though, and I want it
BAD! Preferebly before the end of the year. I'm getting
real self conscious about some of this stuff.

Yamaha : 5000 atleast (hoping to use this
summer still)
shopping spree : 300-600 (long overdue)
fix me dents : 2000 but who knows
Yoga classes : 100

I'll need fuel for me mule and a little splurge every now
and then, cause last time I worked all day every day I
became a really pissed off individual.

So let's see how much money I need to make preferably
before the beginning of June:
2340 to pay bills
280 to pay monthly bills
2600 out of neccesity in two months... round up to
3000 cause shit happens... Very possible if I work my ass
off. FT morning and Evening

Now if I really wanna live I'd have to, in earn an
additional 7400 making a grand total of 10,400 To
accumulate within 2 months.

How the hell do I make this happen?
The logical thing to do would be get a job that would pay
15 bucks an hour as the original plan said... I don't know
if I'm really lazy, or people just aren't giving away
those kind of jobs to me, but let's see if I can thrust
myself into whatever by the end of today.

THis endeavor may be foolish, but it's getting to me. All
my friends go to school. All my friends have money to buy
clothes every now and then and update their wardrobe. I've
been getting asked why I wear my favorite pants for too
long by Chris, when I first started wearing them it was
Dwight who was asking me.
I think the main thing I'm selfcounscious about that
triggered this was my teeth and bartending gigs. The ones
I want atleast. Aside from the clothes thing, my smile
ain't all there. And a smile is your best sales tool. Win
got his braces off, he asked me about the front of my
teeth that one time we talked. I always feel emberassed
about that. And on top of that my figure is getting worse.

I hate how creative I have to be with my closet
I hate my teeth
I hate not going to school
I hate not working
I hate having debt
I hate having my mom pay for my bills
I hate asking my mom for money
I hate not going out as many places as I'd like because I
can't afford to splurge
I hate not having a Yamaha
I hate to watch my figure go especially before the summer

I'd hate to feel this broke during the best summer that's
about to come up.
I'd hate not to have enough money to eventually visit

... And therefore I gotta work my ass off to get this
done. One other good thing may be that I might not need
that gym membership, or yoga classes once I start working

Hope this crazy plan works

P.S. I REALLY LIKE Chris, and he's the reason I'm still up
thinking about him, and everything else