sodomy_and_lust

The Dirty Slurpee
2006-03-28 21:36:52 (UTC)

truth behind men

ok better mood so some funny but true stuff. what men
really mean!

I'M GOING FISHING - I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand,
while the fish swim by in complete safety.

IT'S A GUY THING - There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical.

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?-Why isn't it already on the table?

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY,OR YES, DEAR...-Absolutely nothing.
It's a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN - I have no idea how it
works.

TAKE A BREAK HONEY,YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.-I can't hear
the game over the vacuum cleaner.

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.- Are you still talking?

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS-I remember the theme song
to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've
ever owned,but I forgot your birthday.

OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF,IT'S NO BIG DEAL.-I have
actually severed a limb,but will bleed to death before
I admit that I'm hurt.

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.-And I sure
hope I think of some pretty soon.

I CAN'T FIND IT.-It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless.

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?-What did you catch me at?

I HEARD YOU.-I haven't the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well
enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at
me.

YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.-I am used to the
way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.-Please don't try on one more outfit,I'm
starving

I'M NOT LOST.I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.-No one will ever
see us alive again.

WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.-I make the messes, she cleans them
up.

YOU'RE THE BEST WIFE IN THE WHOLE WORLD.-Please buy me
something nice for Christmas.





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