slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
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2006-03-28 13:56:29 (UTC)

sub diary 28-03-06

greetings,

there was alot more to the session that Master and i had
yesterday. Wwe talked about my love of pets. they will be
my surrogate children now. as a child i always had some
kind of pet to take care of. i recall having this poor cat
that i used to dress up and feed a baby bottle to. the cat
never minded and never ran away. i have been thinking of
my inability to have children now. it is something that i
need to deal with. what i cant get over is before all this
happened i never really wanted children of my own. it is
the fact now that i dont have that choice. i am messed up
and counselling isnt helping much with this at all. i am
delving into more childhood issues which my counsellor
thinks is linked some how. the only link i can see is that
they all happened to me.

i am feeling so stiff today and when i move i feel it all.
the bruising is coming out more. my inner thighs are so
purple and black now. my breasts are covered with red and
black marks. i cant stand to sit on a hard chair. i cant
stand any underwear. i hope Master appreciates what i
endured for Him. it was all for Him. i came close to
calling a safe word but i knew in myself that it wasnt
needed and that Master would know when to stop and He did.

i wish Master was available right now. i just need to chat
with Him. i am feeling i need reassurance. i shall wait
and hope Wwe have contact soon.

love
slave jess {MJ}


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