slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
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2006-03-22 09:33:23 (UTC)

sub diary 21-03-06


i had a good day. i was able to get outside for a while.
there was a bit of rain about. it was good to be alone for
a while too to try to sort my thoughts out.

i am slowly returning to eating normally. i still have to
watch spicy and fatty foods. i am not a big alcohol
drinker but i am craving something alcoholic and very
fizzy. but i shall wait.

i spent some time with some friends and family in the
evening. i had hoped to stay home as i was feeling a
little sick but we all went out. once i was out, i began
to enjoy myself. i was naughty and i pinched a mouthful of
beer. i am not a beer drinker but it tasted so good. i
overate as well. i watched what i ate but i just ate too
much and i feel maybe i wasnt quite ready for the kind or
amount i ate. as soon as dinner was over i knew i was
going to be sick. i brought it all up. so much for dining
out. the others wanted to stay on but i just couldnt so i
rang a cab and was home by 8-30 and in bed by 9.

i had chatted to Master earlier in the day and i had
thought of ringing Him as i was home alone but i just wasnt
up to it. infact lately i dont really want to talk to
Master on the phone at all. chatting is as far as i can go
right now. hearing Masters voice weakens me and then i get
confused with my feelings. i know that if Master makes
phone calls an order for me then i will have to speak on
the phone to Him. i hope He doesnt do this to me right
now. i just need time to sort many things out in my mind.
Master is just too close to me to allow me the privilege of
clear thought.

slave jessica {MJ}

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