slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
2006-03-20 22:03:01 (UTC)

sub diary to 20-03-06

greetings,

i am pleased that this site is again up and running. i have
missed 2 days of entries. not much really has happened
here. i went away overnight on saturday night to spend
some time with an elderly relative. she is rather a with-it
oldie. she is my confidant. i have been feeling rather
upset by a few things and i didnt know if i was
overreacting or what. we had a nice long talk about my
issues. things that i really couldnt talk to others about.

i have discussed this with Master this afternoon but i feel
i should put it down here so in the future i can look back
on it and hopefully laugh about it.

i have been feeling as if Master is too busy for me. He
works long hours and with His job right now He has been
doing more overtime and it seems they change His work hours
on Him all the time. Also He pops in to visit friends on
His way home. Now none of this is wrong but i just feel
not important enough to Him...i do understand that He needs
His friends too. when Wwe discussed this today, He told me
that things will be different when i am actually with Him
in person. my concern was...what if i am sitting alone
waiting for His attention and He still feels His friends
are more important. He said that wont happen as He would
know i was home waiting. i then explained that right now i
may not be there in person but i am here waiting for Him.
i feel that my medical problems couldnt happen at a worse
time.

Master has added responsibilites with His work and His
other work related commitments. now is the time i really
wish He could give me more and unfortunately this isnt
possible timewise. He is just too busy. my confidant has
said that my thinking right now isnt irrational. i need
the ones i love the most around me...to reassure me. all i
really want is Master and i just feel that He is just not
able to give this to me with all His other time consuming
obligations.

love to all
slave jess {MJ}




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