Journal of Joels slave
i found my collar as well as the other items. they were
safe. i knew they would have been. i have it back around
my neck even if i do feel right now it is there on false
pretenses. i am having such a bad time. i can hear myself
snapping at others. i am impatient. i am rude. i am bossy.
i am very intolerant. i am so short tempered. i am angy. i
dont know how to stop myself.
i spoke to Joel again briefly today. he seems to
understand me. i dont know how as i dont understand myself
right now. i spoke to him about something that happened in
hospital and i am not sure if i was dreaming or what. i
recall something strange.
i saw my own doctor today. she has copies of my records
and she again told me i am a lucky lady to be still here. i
cant believe all this fuss. they were not expecting the
problems that they encountered so when they needed to
resection my bowel there was the high risk of infection due
to leakage. this happened hence my second surgery and
i do need time to talk with Joel. i need to sort through